Bang, Bang, you shot me down.

gunsmoke_sues @ 2004-06-03T20:26:00

2004-06-03T10:26:05Z

....Ooops.

Life's thrown a curveball and I CAN'T CATCH.

gunsmoke_sues @ 2004-02-08T14:32:00

2004-02-08T03:33:02Z

I start Collage tomorrow, so unfortunately there will be no Mary Sue-reports from me for a few days.

gunsmoke_sues @ 2004-02-06T14:28:00

2004-02-06T03:27:58Z

I'm not in the best of sorts at the moment, and so I found a Sue with name spelt just like mine, only minus one letter. Which, suffice to say, did not imporve my stormy mood. UGH. Even worse, the author seems to have forgotten that Trigun is scifi-spagetti-futuristic-western....there's certian things you don't associate with westerns, and they are in this fic. You'll see what I mean.....u_u;

Story Or Series Title: Bounty
Fandom: Trigun. Or so I'm lead to believe.
~~Culprit~~ Author's Name:Thin Ice
Summary:
(rated for later chapters and language) a bounty hunter meets up with a mysterious man, they set off on a journey together (god i suck at summarys,) R&R plz! (my first fic, i beg of you, go easy on meh)

First fiction or not, it's still bad. I think it should be a general guideline, OC's aren't usually a good idea for first stories, as in the writer should get a feel for the (insert characters here) before introducing new ones.

Full Name (plus titles if any): Kimberly. (Damn you Sue! Damn you!)
Full Species(es): Werewolf. (as a therian, my tears....they flow like waterfalls..........)
Hair Color (include adjectives): "flame red hair" (Double damnit, I dyed my hair red last month.)
Eye Color (include adjectives): "blue-jean-blue eyes" (points for using such an unusual, if not weird way of describing eye colour!)
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "usual gear, a short gray T with a wicked looking black cross and black way to big pants that clung perfectly to my waist by a leather belt with metal holes galore." Said Sue's clothing. x_O; No mention of the wolf part of the werewolf part....eh.
Special Possessions (if any): "the long knife down my spine. A dagger at each wrist and a shoulder holster" Another knives loving Sue, in a series more re-owned for it's guns. Oh and a Browning High-Power 9mm gun. And an inner pants holster. Iiiie.

Annoying Origin: Not mentioned. Not sure I want to know.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Stumbles apon Vash (or Ericks) while naked.
Annoying Special Abilities: The fact she' s werewolf (choke!) should count. And with that, she heals fast, and has vastly improved senses. Is a l33t bounty hunter, yet never grasps that Ericks is Vash. x_x
Other Annoying Traits: Knowledge of modern films/ and or clothing brands, despite the fact no-body else has any knowledge of these things on the twin-sunned sandy planet. She also has an annoying rival/boyfriend (possibly?!) that is also a were...leopard. Called Blaze. Oh and theres a forest.....on Gunsmoke. Like that's normal.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Written first person...well first Sue perpective....

I heard him click empty and went to my knees training both Brownings on his chest. I got one shot off before he disappeared behind his over turned table. I kept firing till I also clicked empty. His table was as mangled as mine. I heard him pop in two fresh clips as I slid my last one into place.

He stood when I stood and we both fired. I got him in the thiye and watched blood blossom like a crimson flower. I got hit in the shoulder, the impact knocked me into the wall but I kept my feet. My shoulder was a bloody mess. Blaze was bowed over in pain but I didn't trust him that much. He stood almost up right holding his wounds.

“All right, I'll leave you alone for now,” he smirked, “but I'll be back!,” at that he turned and made for the door. I laughed through the pain,

“Still using movie metaphors, you moron!,” I laughed and he turned to smirk at me again.

“And don’t you forget it!,” he walked out the door and disappeared.

I holstered both Brownings and some how made it to the woods un-scathed by the tavern owner. Yeah, he and his double barrel shot gun came after me, but I easily lost him in the thick forest. My shoulder was killing me. I leaned against a large willow, hidden by the whip-like branches nursing my wound.

“Damn him!,” I hissed, “I swear I'll kill his punk ass next time,”

At that I chuckled,

“ But it dose keep life interesting.........I guess.”

The wound was already starting to re-knit it self. One of the advantages of being a werewolf. But the sliver stings like hell. After the gap had fully closed I looked down to my-self.

“ Damn it never ends!,” my bloody clothes would have to be washed soon if they were to be salvaged. Wandering for a few moments I came upon a lake in a large clearing. I sighed in relief and waded out into the water, leaving the Brownings and the long knife in the sand, giving me only the daggers. Getting in shoulder deep I looked around for any one else and slipped out of my shirt. My black sports bra saved me from total nudeness, as did the matching black panties when I got out of the pants. Weaving them through the water the fresh blood easily came out, leaving a crimson trail in its path. I got back to shore and hung my belongings in a near by pine to dry and for safekeeping. Going back to the lake I waded further out and lay on my back in the cool water. Stroking my arms every so often to keep afloat. The half moon watched me in a star lit sky as I lay there. Listening the sounds of the night forest.

A slight rustling stirred me from my dream like state. I was closer to shore now, but I lay still in the knee-deep water.....Listening. I caught a sent of the breeze and smirked,

“Seems we have a peeping tom,” I thought to my self as I lowered one hand farther into the water searching for a rock. The rustling was louder now, my fingers traced the smooth surface of a perfectly round stone, I picked it up slowly and lay very still for a moment. It rustled again and I stood in a blur of motion and chucked the rock at the same time.

I heard it hit home with loud thud, a yelp of pain, and a splash as a figure fell out of a tree and into the shallows near me. I was standing by then, one of the daggers in my right hand ready to attack whom ever it was. As the figure stood, I almost gasped.

His golden blond hair was wet and matted to his head. Aquamarine eyes showed both mischief and embarrassment at being caught. His crimson trench coat was soaked. I had to look up to stare into his eyes, making him maybe 6’0. He looked me up and down, I then realized I was standing there in nothing but my bra and undies. The heat crept up my face before I could stop it and I blushed. The handsome stranger smirked, and I was fit to be tied.

Oh I wish you were tied. Hog-tied that is.

“Who the hell are you, why were you watching me, and what do you want?”

I asked him in a semi-heated tone. I was still embarrassed about standing there mostly nude in front of a complete stranger. He still had his boy-ish smirk when he answered,

“ I’m known as Ericks, I was sleeping in the tree when you came along, and I didn't expect to be caught that easily,”

He rubbed the back of his head with his left arm and I noticed it was artificial. I shook my head and smirked in spite of it all,

“If you don't want to be caught, don't move around so much, and don't breathe so heavily...” Ericks just stared at me for a moment, his hand still at the back of his blond head. The smirk was gone, replaced by a solemn look of surprise,

“How could you hear me?” He asked putting his arm back to his side. I smirked at his question and answered truthfully.

“ Werewolves have a keen sense of smell, and our hearing un-natural,” his eyes grew wide for a moment and his mouth gaped a little bit. I fought not to laugh at him. He re-gained himself and smiled,

“ Nice to know i'm not the only in-human person around here, I was staring to get worried,”

It was my turn to gawk,

“Just what are you then?”

I asked, he sighed and smirked,

“ That for me to know and you to find out so :P,”

He stuck his toung out at me and I shook my head slowly. I trusted Ericks enough to turn my back with out him putting a bullet in me. So I seethed the dagger and stared walking over to my belongings. I could hear him sloshing after me and smiled.

~”He’s not such a bad guy,”~ I thought to my self, we were half way to the pine tree when I stopped dead, scenting the air. Ericks, who wasn't paying attention, bumped into me and made me stumble. I had my balance back when Blaze dropped out of the trees just ahead.

Ow. This story suffers from bad grammar and writing, but sadly (unlike last entry) I think this can't be re-deemed. Sure, it experiments with different types of inhuman life (away from the sterotypical Plant angels I've seen), but there was well...certian expectations with Trigun. That being:
1) It's desert planet, and thus far, absolutely no indication of wolves or leopards of the normal kind, let alone the were-kind.
2) There's no indication of any other in-human life (aside from wildlife) other than Plants or androids (Grey the Nine lives).
3) Trigun, for all it's plotholes, still is scientically (computers, ships.....) based, not mythogically (weres, vampires....) based. (Not counting all the religous annotations Trigun has).
4) It's a sterotypical western setting, for cryin' out loud.

The third point could be argued that Hellsing/Vampire Hunter D/Wolf's Rain anime (to name a few) has bent the rules of science by having werwolves/vampires in a modern day/futuristic setting but then again, I'll counter that by saying.....this is Trigun...not (insert fandom here) and theres no indication of such creatures existing, in either the anime or manga.

gunsmoke_sues @ 2004-02-05T13:51:00

2004-02-05T02:51:38Z

Heh. Clone has been updated.. You can find the original Sue report here. *winces* Ouch. I just thought a few of you would like to know.

On to today's Sue. Not too sure what to think of this one. I'll admit, it's not that cliche of a Trigun fanfic, and prehaps if the author re-worked and actually used a 'smegging beta-reader, then it would be fairly okay. It's the writing that bugs me mostly.

Story Or Series Title: Face The Music No Matter How Terrible It Is o_O:
Fandom: Trigun.
~~Culprit~~ Author's Name: RktikFox
Summary: Yes. Hi. My First Fic here-in this section-arr. May become R later. Kid mysteriously survives massacre (by Knives, yes) Vash& co. need her help to the next major city. Electric Mandolin Included! Rr CH.3 UP AT LAST (story will be slow updates-sorry;)

*blink* okay.

Full Name (plus titles if any): Syd Vicious Tarquin. Iiiiee. At least it isn't Japanese.
Full Species(es): Human, as far as I can tell.
Hair Color (include adjectives): not mentioned.
Eye Color (include adjectives): blue-violet.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Long scar on her left forearm.
Special Possessions (if any): "Pinkish glasses". Red scarf. Electric mandolin (eh?). Damned unusual diet? And a loud voice.

Annoying Origin: Vetus City.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Bumps into them, as they find her in the rubble of her since destroyed city.
Annoying Special Abilities: "My father taught me to play the guitar
when I was a toddler. He was so proud when I played my first song...so proud he
died a few months later" o_O; I admit, thats a funny way of putting that. I think in chapter two she summons something, it honestly doesn't make sense to be so I'll just assume it's a special trait.
Other Annoying Traits: Is way too damn cheery, considering what just happened to her town.

I feel I should state this: I consider this a Sue, due to the fact, that few, if any 16 year olds are capable of doing many of the things this Sue can. And also surviving a "Knives desructive rampage (patent applied for)" and being the only survivor seems a little far fetched.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

It should be noted that this story is listed in humour, as well as action, so presumably, the author tried to work a sense of humour into the story. Attempted mind you. Obiviously, it's why Syd is in reality, as annoying and weird as she is. So either way, take a look at the author notes.

Face The Music (no matter how terrible it is)
Chapter 1: The First Meeting
###

A/N: Yes. Hi. This is my first fic for Trigun! How cute. So please be nice *fake sob* I have actually been working on this since October of 2002...oh, cheeky! Naturally, I put it off for a bit and resumed in January. I give
thee my disclaimer for the entire story!

Here 'tis: I hereby state on my own behalf that I, Rktikfox, do NOT own
Trigun or its lovely characters and ideas.

Okay, enough of that jazz-I am not sure how to explain this fic. It has a bit of a rocky start with weird abrupt conversations, but just read it. I
do not like this chapter as much as the others I have written, but I am
sick of re-writing it. Its pretty much like how the show is, funny yet serious, but-er-unprofessional-So no making fun of my grammar mistakes! In addition, review...flames will be used to warm the cold little box I live
in.

Oooo-kay. Obiviously, I need to mention this to the author sometime: Grammatically incorrect humour is damned hard to get right. And sadly, you failed. Also, please note, the reason many things are mis-spelt in Trigun is because the animators don't speak English as a main language, not as some plot device. oO;
Your use of unprofessional grammar mistakes make reading this story as much fun as removing wisdom teeth with a set of plastic pliers and a car jack.

"AHH! Meryl and Milly!" Vash gasped when he noticed the two still bodies of
the insurance girls.

"What the hell?" Wolfwood breathed.

Vash checked their pulses. "Hm."

"They aren't...dead, are they?"

"No-"

A small dart buried itself in the dirt near Wolfwood, attracting their attention. All they could see was a pair of pinkish glasses glinting in a ray of setting sunlight. In an instant, it dashed away. The men tore after
the figure.
Occasional glimpses of whatever it was lead them back to the porch. Wolfwood leapt onto the porch-only to find a scarf coiled up on the floor.
It was extremely long and red-yet there was a different shade of red as well. A few droplets of blood had sunken into the scarf in several places. The gunman lowered his sunglasses to get a better look at the blood stains.

Suddenly, the sound of a quick inhale echoed in the porch roof rafters. Wolfwood turned around fired the pistol. The two pieces of ammunition met in midair and the dart fell to the ground. The bullet kept going and grazed the figure's cheek. With a yell, it clapped its hands over the wound and plummeted from the wooden beam. It hit the porch with a dull thud. A shower of sawdust blanketed the assassin and the priest. Vash looked down at the
pathetic mass huddled on the deck as he joined Wolfwood.

"What is it?" Vash asked him.

Wolfwood fired two gunshots-destroying the dart shooter and lowered the
gun. "It looks like a...kid."

The kid bowed its head. "Please...just give me one more day..."

Vash took a step toward the frantic child. "What did you say?"

"NO! Stop! I-I'm not ready to die!" It shouted. Wolfwood and Vash exchanged
glances. "It's not even time yet! Just leave me alone!"

"We're not here to kill you." Wolfwood said quietly.

A pair of blue-violet eyes stared up at him. "You aren't?"

"Of course we aren't!" Vash said cheerily. "We all just came here looking
for Vetus City."

The tears vanished. "Well, I'll be! So, you were merely passing through,
trying to move on." Vash nodded. "You're on the run, yes?"

"I guess you could say that."

She looked at Wolfwood and stood up. "And what about you? Just drifting
looking for some adulterated fun?"

Wolfwood snorted. "What he said."

"That's WONDERFUL! WOOHOO! I'm saved!" Wolfwood raised an eyebrow. "Well,
you both seem innocent enough to me." She put the outrageous scarf on. "Please, come inside!" They both sighed and followed her in. "Just don't try anything funny. I'm only a child of sixteen, you know. So, who are you
guys anyway?"

Vash put his pistol away. "I'm Elias-"

"-the Stampede?" The girl chuckled digging through a bag full of bandages.
"Last time I checked your name was Vash."

Vash sighed. "You pay attention to the wanted posters, I see."

"One hears crazy things mopping floors in saloons, sir. But apparently, they were exaggerating." She said with an impish grin as she dressed her
wound. "So, how about you?"

"Wolfwood."

"Humph...Well, very nice to-oh dear." She said looking at her hands.
"Please excuse me..." She left and returned promptly, apparently from washing her bloody hands, and shook their hands vigorously. "It is quite
nice to meet you both. Now I shall properly introduce myself. I am Syd Vicious Tarquin! Pleased to meet you, Mr. the Stampede and Mr. Woodwolf."

"Wolfwood."

"Righto. So, what kind of bribe or lust brought you to Vetus city?"

Vash thought. "Well, actually, I was just passing by and our friend Milly
had a relative living here-"

Syd sniffled. "Oh. Relatives? Sorry, sir, fresh out."

Wolfwood's brow furrowed. "Well, yeah. The dead bodies gave it away."

She snorted. "Chyeah...pretty much...So, would this Milly happen to be one
of the ladies I tranquilized?" Syd asked suddenly.

"Yeah." They both confirmed.

"Corks! I'm so sorry. They are rather imposing from a distance. Didn't think they WERE women at first. Can't be too careful. 'Ve got valuables an-
" She babbled. Noticing the two annoyed expressions thrown at her, Syd smiled a rather sheepish smile. "But don't worry, they'll be up in a few,
sirs. So, where're you chaps headed, anyway?"

"Well...um..." Vash muttered, thinking.

Syd arched both eyebrows. "Ah, Will you be staying the night, then?"

::::::::

End Chapter One
R/R...

And so we meet Syd. Angst quota met and checked. u_U; This story seems to improve aftert his chapter, but it's still fairly sporkworthy.

“Why, sir, ain’t you ever seen an electric mandolin?”

“Uh...no.” Vash raised an eyebrow.

“Goodness me. You clearly haven’t grown to know the finer things
in life.” She huffed. “Ah, well, this baby’s one of a kind.”

“You built it yourself?”Vash asked.

Syd nodded madly. “Yessir, when I was 7 years old. I love music
and everything about it-always have. My father taught me to play the guitar
when I was a toddler. He was so proud when I played my first song...so proud he
died a few months later.”

“Oh. I’m sorry-“

“Really, sir. I got over it a long time ago... Always look on the
bright side of life, yeah?” She said in a sing-songy voice.

Vash smiled. “I guess you’re right.” Then he noticed something.
Something that was so odd that he was surprised he had not noticed it before.
Syd’s left forearm was hidden from view by a long glove of some sort. It was
black, thick and went all the way up past her elbow. “Um...Syd? What do you
have that glove on for?”

“This?” Syd seemed startled by the question. “Oh. I had an
accident when I was little. Left a hideous scar, so my mum gave this to me to
wear over it so I wont be embarrassed.”

Vash blushed. “Oh...w-what happened?” She shifted on her log. “I
mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“Nah, it’s nuthin’...I was working over at the livestock barn and
th-there was this mechanical hay reaper, see? So I wasn’t being too careful and
I tripped and fell so that my arm sort of got caught in the blades-and-and”

“Oh god. I’m sorry about that.” Vash muttered. “Reliving all of these
bad memories because of-“

“Ah, quit it with the apologies, sir. I don’t think less of you
or anything. You had the concern and common courtesy to ask at least.” Syd
grinned and began strumming the tune to the song she was singing before.

“You’re really good with instruments, aren’t you? That song
sounds hard to pull off.”

“Yeah...Had to keep something to occupy myself...I’ve never left
this city in my life.”

Vash laughed. “Well, you’re only sixteen aren’t you?”

Syd stared at the fire and smiled bitter-sweetly. “A place like
this makes one year seem like five if you know what I mean.”

From a stance on the porch, such as Wolfwood’s, one can see a
great deal more than someone in such a position as Vash and Syd can. In fact,
there is a great view of the desert. One can see many things, such as cacti,
coyotes, jack rabbits, the night sky, tumbleweeds, and a swiftly approaching mammoth.

“Whoa! It’s a...” Nick squinted. “Oh shit...VASH!”

“WHAT?” Vash replied. Syd stopped playing.

“EXACTLY! LOOK OUT!” Wolfwood ran inside.

Vash drew his gun. “Syd, don’t move.”

Syd saw whatever it was approaching. “Ahh-Oh no...” She curled up
in a ball where she sat.

Your traditional dark and shadowy figure formed just outside of
the light of Syd’s fire. It threw back its head and an earsplitting, bloody
roar issued from its throat. Syd whimpered something inaudible. Vash aimed his
gun at the creature and fired two bullets. Both ricocheted off the thing’s
chest. Almost immediately, the creature angrily flew forward at Vash and Syd.

“SYD! NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO MOVE!” Vash yelled.

“But you told me not to-“

“NEVERMIND!” Vash grabbed her arm and ran.

The two shot away from the fire and towards the house. In a
flash, the creature appeared! Its dark, quadruped figure crouched before
them...It was a huge, terrifying monster, despite the darkness that shrouded
its general appearance. Vash and Syd attempted to fake it out and run the other
way, but it appeared right in front of them again. It raised its talons,
growled and swiped at Syd. Syd ducked; squeaking with fear. Vash dodged the
still swiping claw, noticeably made of steel, and raised his gun again. The
monster took another swipe at him. Vash dodged it and immediately fired a
bullet into its right eye. It roared horribly and pawed its face.

‘Those eyes...what is it with those damned eyes?’ Vash thought.

“The fire, Mr.Vash, c’mon!” Syd dragged Vash towards the fire.

“But the house-“

“The fire is closer!” Syd immediately rolled her sitting logs to
the edge of four sides where the light ended. As she rolled the last log to its
place, the monster’s now uneven red eyes appeared glaring above Syd’s small,
hunched figure.

“WATCH OUT, SYD!” Vash shouted.

As Syd looked up, the creature swiped! It’s claw shot out of the
shadows as she fell on her back; petrified with fear. It was near slashing
Syd’s shuddering body in half, but suddenly, it stopped and began to burn and
twitch. The dark creature howled with pain.

“HEY, VASH!” Wolfwood’s familiar voice came to ear.

“Stay here, Syd.” Vash muttered and ran to Wolfwood.

Vash could feel the creature pounding along right behind him. As
he neared the porch, Vash sped up and jumped. He cleared all seven steps on the
porch and tumbled onto the wooden surface; causing a shower of sawdust to rain
down upon him. Wolfwood stood over him, holding his cross punisher. Vash looked
at the foot of the steps. The lopsided red eyes bored into his-then vanished,
probably to go torment Syd.

*sigh* This story's main fault, lies not with the character (which I find irritating, but not overly so.....) but the style and manner of writing. Possibly, it's because the story isn't finished yet, but it seems.....all over the place? It makes little sense. And frankly, I wouldn't want to read it. I was like "thankgod, its finished.". Sad.

Ow, my brainmeats!

2004-02-03T00:23:06Z

Story Or Series Title: Unknown Daughters. Now if that wasn't a Sue-ish title, I duuno what is.
Fandom: Trigun. (I haven't found many Cowboy Bebop sues of late.....most of them are just OC's....)
~~Culprit~~ Author's Name: LifelongStampedeK
Summary: Two girls get sucked into the Trigun dimension and learn about thier pasts. R&R! CHAPPIE 9 UP! Pleeeaaasseee review! This is a traditional
It cuts off there. I'm not sure if I should be scared that I don't know what's coming, or relieved the author shut-up.

Full Name (plus titles if any): Kelly Vash Mildred Meryl Sabryna Layne Dolores Margaret Elaine Laurenne Nicole Lisa Kairi. I kid you not.
Full Species(es): Self-insertation Sue. (which sounds really dirty to my perverted mind..!)
Hair Color (include adjectives): "her golden blonde high ponytail (like Battousai's from Ruroni Kenshin) blowing from side to side in the breeze.". Well. At least it's not purple or anything.....
Eye Color (include adjectives): Green. Oh no.....this is foreboding. I do not like where this is going.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: I think what she's wearing counts. "She had on a pale blue t-shirt with "Angel" written on it in sparkly gold cursive with a sparkly silver halo dangling off the 'A' and little sparkly white angel wings on either side of the word. She also wore navy blue flares and a red, knee-length leather coat unbuttoned down the front. She also had a grey-green backpack on her back. " Pppfhht. She's sparklie-ish!
Special Possessions (if any): Is only 13, but looks 20. Ack. Trigun DVD's count? And a Mac laptop. Damnit, I want one! Later on, gun, long coat and other Vash related things.

Annoying Origin: Apparently, modern day....I dunno where. It's a self-insertion fic, gone horribly Sue-ish.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Cloooone. No, I kid. It seems like they are re-incarnations of Vash and Wolfwood. Ph33r. I do, indeed.
Annoying Special Abilities: Can do anything Vash can. Only Better-er. x_X;
Other Annoying Traits: Do I have to list them? Alright, she's annoying, loud, brattish, annoying, horribly, horribly sue-ish, annoying. And a total, total rip-off. Oh, how I sob for my fandom. Oh and Vash and Wolfwood don't find them irritating at all. Pssh, yeah right.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Just for kicks, I had to throw in the disclaimer, which takes up more space than the rest of the first chapter. I condensed it, because otherwise, it would have ruined my scrolly mouse thingy.

Hey and welcome to my new story! Hopefully there will be less spelling mistakes than in my last one.
If you spot a spelling mistake, YOU MUST REVIEW AND TELLEE MEE!
Disclaimer: LifelongStampedeK (a.k.a. Kelly) does not own: the song Sound Life ,
The Mackintosh Apple Corporation,
AIM, the screen-names BeyondRepair01, JakeRules449, or NWolfwood.
My screen-name is none of your beeswax.
I also do not own the words OPEN SESAME,
The country of Greece,
Trigun and all its characters,
Potatoes,
Twinkies,
Or anybody named Kelly Vash Mildred Meryl Sabryna Layne Dolores Margaret Elaine Laurenne Nicole Lisa Kairi besides me.
(Hint: these are mostly just names I like except my real name is hidden in there somewhere. Can you find it?)
Let the story begin!!! ^_^

WTF. Just.....WTF.

"TRIGUN TIME!" Kelly vaulted the stair-railing, leaving her dark red and ivory themed bedroom behind, power cord for her Mac in hand. She landed in the hallway and raced into the kitchen. She plugged her laptop into the counter outlet and dragged up a barstool. She booted up her computer and grabbed her High Noon DVD from on top of the pile. Her parents were fairly well-off and she was an only child, so Kelly could afford extras like a leather coat, Mac laptop and DVD's whenever she wanted them. She logged on and looked at the battery icon. 0.4 second of power left. "Yep, outta juice." She said out loud, checking her e-mail. "cHeLsEaRoSe88 is now online!" AIM said, too perky. She hated computerized voices. Kelly made a mental note to turn off that function. "BeyondRepair01 is now online! JakeRules449 is now online! NWolfwood is now online! NWolfwood has opened a chat window with you!" AIM chirped.

*Hey* Nicole (NWolfwood) typed.

* Hey Nicole* Kelly typed back.

* Wanna come over? * Kelly typed.

*we can watch Ep. 26 and M & D are working l8e*

*B right ova * Nicole typed.

* See u soon! * Kelly typed.

"NWolfwood has signed off!" AIM squawked. "GAH!!!" Kelly yelled. She clicked out of AIM and put in her High Noon disc. Just then the doorbell rang. "Kel! Open Sesame! Nicole yelled from outside the front door. "Sesame!" Kelly yelled back. They used passwords when they went over to each other's houses, that way nobody would get kidnapped or anything. Kelly opened the door. "Nicole D.Wolfwood, ya don't have to be so loud!" Kelly yelled. "Geez you sound like my mother!" Nicole grumbled. "Yeah yeah." Kelly said back, rolling her eyes. Nicole was about 6'3" with pixie-cut dark hair and blue-grey eyes. Her father and Kelly's mother were both Greek and unrelated, so both of the girls had a slightly masculine cast to their features. Kelly would occasionally tease Nicole about the resemblance of her and her name to everyone's favorite priest, when that happened Nicole would just tease Kelly back about her name. Kelly's name was a whole sentence long; her mother and father were hoping for twins so that they could name them after practically the whole family. Sadly, all they got was Kelly. Her fully name was Kelly Vash Mildred Meryl Sabryna Layne Dolores Margaret Elaine Laurenne Nicole Lisa Kairi. "H'ok. Gimme a hand wouldja???" Nicole asked, grabbing one end of the enormous duffel she had brought along. Kelly grabbed the other and exclaimed: "Geez Wolfwood, what the heck is IN this thing??" "Overnight stuff, DVD'S, my sunglasses and a toothbrush." Nicole said, grinning. "How much overnight stuff do ya NEED, Nicole???" Kelly said, groaning as the duo lifted Nicole's giant bag into the family room. "Not much, actually. I have band practice tomorrow so my flute is also in there, my `sunglasses are too, I brought clothes for tomorrow and the next day, and I Also brought manga, a sleeping bag, and a spa kit." Nicole said, grinning. "OOH! Spa kit! Let's watch the movie first though." Kelly said, as the two sat down in barstools in front of the laptop. Kelly clicked on Episode 26 in the start menu. They saw the silver gun appear out of the darkness that signified the beginning of the episode and then the screen went fuzzy. " Hey! No Fair!" Nicole complained. "I'll get my High Noon." She said, going over to her duffel and grabbing the DVD and her sunglasses, for some reason. She plopped back down on the barstool and Kelly grabbed her backpack and was about to unzip it when the laptop's screen glowed blinding white. " EEEYYYAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" Kelly and Nicole yelled simultaneously as they were sucked into the laptop screen. As Kelly's feet disappeared, so did Nicole's white cap-sleeved t-shirt clad upper half, followed by her black low rise flares, legs and white tennis shod feet.

Yey. Lets rip off Digimon while we're at it. And jeez. It's just painful to read this.

Oooh, an anuthors note I must mock:
(A/N: See, what'd I tell you? This is a self-insert but NOT a Mary Sue. Yes, I did burn an empty pot once. The smell hung around for days and my family kept asking what that smell was. It went away eventually.)

HA. Haaaahhhhaaaaa. *wipes tear from her eye*

Oh, here's after they were transported to Gunsmoke or something....

Kelly landed facedown in the sand with Nicole on top of her. Kelly pushed up and flipped Nicole off of herself, spitting sand. "Good Lord Almighty, we're in December!" Nicole said, spying a Vash the Stampede wanted poster and a December Saloon sign. "Nice coat." Kelly said, seeing Nicole's knee- length black leather coat that was unbuttoned down the front. "Well, yours grew." Nicole said, Pointing at Kelly's coat which now looked just like Vash's coat unbuttoned. Kelly peeked in her backpack. "Hey, all my school books are gonzo and my knee length coat is in here!" Kelly said, pulling out her sunglasses. They were expensive customs, designed to be just like Vash the Stampede's except polarized so her mother wouldn't have a cow. Kelly flipped her sunglasses open and put them on her face. Nicole accidentally leaned against a cross gun similar to Wolfwood's and fell flat on her back, seeing the two suns. "Huh??? Is this thing mine??" Nicole said, highly confused. She picked the Punisher gun up and pulled the cloth off, eliciting several stares from neighboring passersby. "Whoa." Nicole said, staring at the humongous gun with her initials filigreed in silver down the left arm. "Umm.Nicole? Could you please pack that thing up?" Kelly asked, noting the curious pedestrians. "Wha? - Oh, sure." Nicole said, fixing the black canvas and steel straps around the cross again. (A/N: I only said Nicole's cross was LIKE Wolfwood's, not a carbon copy of it! ^_^) Suddenly a random guy named Fred yelled: " RUUUNN!!!! I'TS VASH THE STAMPEDE!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!" while pointing at Kelly. "WAIT! NO! I'M FEEEEMAALE!" Kelly yelled, while a mob of townspeople chased Nicole and Kelly all over the place. Suddenly some people got the bright idea to start shooting at the two thirteen-year- olds. "Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap!" Nicole yelled, pushing Kelly out of the way of a bullet. "EEEYYAHH!" Kelly yelled, backflipping over Nicole and landing in a nearby Dumpster, getting very smelly but avoiding a potentially deadly bullet. "C'mon, idiot!" Nicole mumbled, pulling Kelly out of the Dumpster, the two running even faster. "CRAP! I'M GONNA DIEEE!!!" Kelly yelled, as an RPG destroyed the Dumpster behind them. Kelly quickly pulled several of Vash's trademark, erratic balletlike maneuvers to avoid getting shot at again. Suddenly Kelly whooped and jumped straight up in the air, catching a knife that was intended for her throat. "I didn't know you could do that!" Nicole screeched, using her cross gun as a shield and pulling Kelly behind it as well. "Me neither!" Kelly hollered in Nicole's ear, shooting the guns out of all the sniper's hands one by one. "Phew. No More snipers!" Kelly said, pulling Nicole and the giant gun around to face the other way so as to deflect the tree branches, car tires, burning brands, encyclopedias, taxis, and other large and unpleasant objects being thrown at them. Suddenly Kelly stuck her right hand out to the side, creating a telekinetic barrier around the mob of nutcases also known as 'disgruntled citizens'. "EEEEK!" A man in a red coat with spiky blonde hair yelped while dodging a tossed dairy cow. "Mind if I join you?" He asked, hiding behind the cross gun as well. He took one look at Nicole's face and went pale.

I am not gonna be very happy if you sue-est me and you will probably get lotsa bullet holes in your house if you do. So refrain and simply read the story.
Oooh. I'm so scared. Face it girly, yer Sued.

The sad, sad part of this story, aside from grammar, editing, the blantant irritating style of writing, including CAPS LOCK and !! is the fact that the authors notes and disclaimers make up most of the word count.

Oh and I forgot to ask....are cowboys cooler than Ninjas?

Dema- Oh my. Foreshadowing me thinks?

2004-02-01T04:09:58Z

First off, I'd like someones opinion on this.....Is this a Bebop sue, or just a really, really confusing story, or someone stuck this in the wrong catagory? I'm baffled! My brainmeats hurt.

Anyway, on to today's Sue, which is a Trigun one. Because there's so many to choose from. Ack. This Sue, seems rife with angst. And vaguely insinuated inhuman-ness. Not really toxic, just pathetic, really.

Story Or Series Title:Dema
Fandom: Trigun.
~~Culprit~~ Author's Name: icenectar. Author gets points for not using the same username as the Sue.
Summary: Vash runs into a young girl who has almost died from being exposed to the harsh enviroment and dehydration. Who is she and what are the secrets that she hides?

Full Name (plus titles if any): Dema.
Full Species(es): It's hinted shes like a Plant at the end, but it's not said. So I don't know, really.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Mauve. "Her hair was cut short and close to her head except for long, wild bangs that hid part of her face".
Eye Color (include adjectives): Pale blue. Pale blue and mauve? Has this author got no sense of style? Oh wait, they never seem to. x_x;
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "a scar on her hand was exactly the same as the symbol for the devil" counts, I think.
Special Possessions (if any): A highly developed sense of paranoia?

Annoying Origin: Not mentioned, and left vaguely as "I don't know where I came from".
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Hangs around Vash. Thankfully, they aren't related. It seems everyone wants her...not like that, but everyone seems to be looking for her.
Annoying Special Abilities: Apparently makes accurate predictions and can heal others. Ooh, I'm intrigued. Or not.
Other Annoying Traits: Is constantly suicidal, and makes Vash, whom is in canon reality, a very smart person seem like a complete idiot and scatterbrain. Oh and she drones on and on about how rejected and awful her life is. Give it a rest, would you? And flashbacks. Ow.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

The twin suns beat mercilessly down upon the gritty golden terrain. A warm wind blew up, kicking particles of sand as she wearily fell to her feet. She brought her canteen to her lips and pitifully waited for a drop of moisture to be delivered from the weather-beaten container. It was empty. She cried in anger at being deprived of liquid refreshment as her strength gave out and collapsed onto the heated desert terrain.

She had wandered into town only a week ago but got chased out because she was different. The townspeople called her "demon girl" because a scar on her hand was exactly the same as the symbol for the devil. She had done nothing to deserve the name, save perhaps making a few accurate predictions but that was all. Panic had set in and she was kicked out of town. She wandered haphazardly into the desert and gotten herself completely lost. She had also run out of provisions. Now she lay in the sand and waited to die.

Some time later, a young man with a long red coat and spiked blonde hair came upon her. He picked her up and carried her to the nearest town. He laid her on a bed in a hotel room and placed a damp cloth on her forehead. He opened a window and sat down in a chair. He wondered what had happened to bring her close to death in the middle of the desert.

When she awoke, she got the feeling that she was not alone. A careful scan of the room, proved her theory. A young man with spiked blonde hair and a red trench coat sat sleeping in a chair near the window. She sat up and he stirred. She drew back, frightened that he was some evil person intent on raping or even murdering her.

"Hey. You're finally awake. You were out for a long time. You would have died out there if I hadn't run across you when I did," he said and she looked at him.

"Perhaps it would have been better if you had left me where you found me," she said and the young man looked at her.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I'm not wanted. People see me as a demon child. I'm an outcast and I would have only been murdered eventually. I still may be. I know nothing about you and you have the advantage."

He laughed and she looked at him. He handed her a plate of food and she looked at it and then at him.

"Why should I trust you?" she asked and he shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, right now, you don't have a choice do you?" he asked and she sighed.

"No. I guess you're right."

"Want something to drink? I'm sure you got thirsty out there in the desert."

"You're not going to poison me or anything are you?"

"Of course not. I like pretty girls."

"You're going to take advantage of me?"

"Me? No."

"Oh."

"Just take it. I'm Vash. Maybe a name will help you feel more relaxed."

"They called me Dema. It's short for demon or something like that. I don't really know who I am or where I came from."

"Why did they think you were a demon?"

"Well, I made some correct predictions. I also have the ability to heal others."

"That's a great thing to have."

"Not everyone thinks so. I was persecuted so bad that I thought of killing myself so many times. It's just too bad that I'm a terrible shot."

"No one has the right to take their own life."

"I know that. It just seems to be the only option sometimes."

"There's always another option besides death. You just have to want to see that option."

"I suppose that's true. But, what do I do now? I was driven from the city and I have no other place to go. I can't afford the fare for a sand steamer so I'm stuck here in the middle of nowhere. I guess that's the story of my life. The first thing I remember is being in the middle of nowhere and it seems that that's going to be the last thing I remember too."

"Perhaps you can come with me for just a little while. I can get you out of this area and you can start anew."

"You can do that? Wait, why should I trust you?"

"I saved you, didn't I?"

Why did you have to go and save her Vash? Now she'll just complain and angst for the rest of the story. Which she does.

She had never had friends before so why should now be any different? She turned and walked back into the other room and noticed the tip of a gun that lay on the floor. She picked it up and looked at it. It was the gun that the young man had been carrying. He didn't seem to be the person that would leave weapons lying carelessly about but she took his carelessness as good fortune. She picked the weapon up and aimed the barrel at her face. She stared at the cold, metallic object and hoped that her aim had improved. She pressed down on the trigger then felt the gun jerk upwards. The bullet flew upwards, shattering the incandescent light bulb and Dema opened her eyes. Vash pulled the gun out of her hand and looked at her.

"There's always another option besides death. You just have to see that option. You have to want to see that option," he said and Dema turned away from him.

"Look, they're going to kill me when they find out that I'm here so why should I wait for death? Why can't I take my life right now instead of having to wait for them to take it for me? I don't have a choice in this matter," she said as she glanced out the window.

"Death is never a solution. It only worsens the problem."

"You can say all that just fine. You've never had to go through what I've been through. All I remember is persecution. I don't know who I am or what I am but I know that I'm hated. You can't identify with that."

See? See? Angst, angst. It gets a bit boring after a while.

Stupid. That's what she had been. She had been so completely idiotic for believing him. She should have just allowed herself to die in that desert heat. She should have at least jumped off the sand steamer when the opportunity had presented itself but she hadn't.

Why had she stayed with him? Look at where it had gotten her. She was nowhere better off than she had been lying in the middle of the desert just waiting to die. She forced herself to run faster, feeling the sharp pain in her back. She knew that she had torn her old wounds open again but she didn't care. She didn't want to live any longer anyway.

The image of the blue-haired man with sinister eyes filled her mind. Her motor skills were lessening as she continued to run. She soon gasped as her entire body cried out in pain.

"I believed him. I even tolerated him. Look at where that got me. I might as well stop avoiding hell. There's nothing for me here."

*********************************************************** ****************

The quiet desert night calmed her as she ran a hand over the whitened desert sand. She thought about Vash as tears stained the bleached ground she lay on. She had been wrong. So very wrong. Her past had blinded her from seeing the good intentions in Vash's heart.
Now, nothing could save her. Not even the Lost Technology the humans had become so dependent on. She would now never know what she truly was but she knew one thing. She had been a paranoid idiot and she had lost so much by not trusting the one person that had really wanted to help her.
"What's this?" a voice asked and Dema glanced up in shock. She recognized that voice from her childhood. The death and destruction of the one city she stood in and the only person she remembered seeing besides a blur of crimson was his.
"Something attacked you?" he asked as he knelt in front of her.
"Who...who are you?" she found herself asking, for he had not changed since she had seen him standing in the shadows of a dead city who knew how many years ago.
"I am called Legato Bluesummers. It is a name you will be eternally grateful to."

Ugh...x_x; Three chapters of this. At least she dies in the end. Hurrah.

gunsmoke_sues @ 2004-01-29T21:31:00

2004-01-30T03:43:21Z

This is donna_c_punk reporting a Sue today. Just so ya know whose snark-age you're reading.

Story Or Series Title: There's Nothing In Life Like Love - the love of a Sue ... is toxic.
Fandom: Trigun - where all the truly sporkworthy Sues are found.
~~Culprit~~ Author's Name: SniperDukesgirl14

Full Name (plus titles if any): Suki
Full Species(es): She's a plant angel! Aiyee!
Hair Color (include adjectives): black
Eye Color (include adjectives): sky blue
Unusual Markings/Colorations: she was almost as tall as Vash but was 1 inch shorter than him
Special Possessions (if any): Well, a supah dupah angel arm gun, of course!

Annoying Origin: Spewed forth from the sick mind of an anime fangirl.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: A plant angel that Vash knew before he was on Gunsmoke, and he instantly falls in love with her. Oh no! Legato is in love with her, too. DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!
Annoying Special Abilities: She destroyed an entire town with her angel arm many years ago because some mean ol' villagers killed her plant angel boyfriend, Daichi.
Other Annoying Traits: Drama drama, angst angst, drama drama ...

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

This entire story makes no sense. Not in any logic that I'm familiar with.

It was noon, everyone was happy and Vash was eating doughnuts and then he saw a girl that has black hair, sky blue eyes, and she was almost as tall as Vash but was 1 inch shorter than him.

Then he went up to her and said "Hi there, I'm Vash" and the girl looked at him and she said "and my name is Suki"

*Flashback*

Vash was looking at a capsule that had a girl inside, he said to himself {She's so beautiful, I wonder what's her name is, I hope I get to meet you on earth.}

*End of Flashback*

"Suki?......that's a lovely name" Vash said in a questionable way.

"Thank you, Vash the Stampede" said Suki in a gently way.

Vash had a blank and surprised look on his face and said "How do you know that?"

"Well when you're a plant angel you have to know every other plant angels" said Suki.

"You're a plant angel, just like me?" he was shocked at that what Suki said.

"Yes, but I'm not like your brother knives, I'm good like you, Vash" Vash blushed and he couldn't talk after that.

Suki laughed as she saw Vash blush, then out of nowhere there was a gunshot, Vash and Suki went to see.

It was Legato Bluesummer; Vash thought that he was dead before.

Suki said "Vash.Vash what's wrong?" she looked at him with concerned eyes.

Vash said "It's nothing Suki..nothing..But I want you to run and find a safe spot to hide and.." He was cut off by her kissing him and Vash was surprised of what she did and she had her gun out.

Vash knew that Legato was controlling Suki and Vash said "LEGATO STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!! LET HER GO!! IT'S ME YOU WANT!!"

Legato came out of hiding and said "Why should I? Its fun controlling the people you protect, even the person you love."

And Legato controlled Suki again.

Suki took out her gun and placed it next to Vash's head and she said "Who will you protect..Suki..or..yourself?" and Vash was getting confused and furious at Legato doing this to Suki.

He said to himself {Suki, I want to save you but, I have to save every human on earth and I just can't, just save you but, I love you Suki, I do.}

What Vash didn't know was that Suki was psychic and she read Vash's mind and she cried and she tried to break the control and she screamed in pain.

Legato tried to regain control of Suki.

Vash very confused he didn't know what to do but did the only thing possible, he kissed her passionately.

Suki was crying when she was kissed by Vash, she thought that no one in her life would be in love with her because in the past someone did love her but....

~Flashback~

"Suki come on, wait up..you little blossom!" said a tall 24 yr old boy with dark brown hair with red eyes (and no people's he's not evil, I made him up.)

"You have to catch me first..Daichi!!" said a 22 yr old girl with black hair and sky blue eyes (that's me ^_^.)

"That's it..I'm going to get you Suki..no matter how long it takes..because I love you Suki."

Suki was surprised and she stop, for Daichi to catch up to her and Daichi said "What's wrong Suki?" and Suki was crying and turned around and she ran towards Daichi and cried at his chest and said "I love you too Daichi."

Suki hugged him tightly not letting him go and Daichi did the same to her, and then he lifted her chin up and kissed her and she embraced the kiss by letting his tongue roam around her mouth making it more passionate.

Then a gun was shot and Daichi collapsed on Suki and she was so surprised she didn't even scream.

Suki screamed "DAICHI!! YOU CAN'T DIE!! I WON'T LET YOU..I LOVE YOU DAICHI!!"

Then her right arm was forming a gun but, not just any gun it was an angel gun, her eyes were turning red (yes she is turning evil) because she was in pain, anger, and sorrow.

She shot her angel gun right through the village and she yelled "I WILL NOT FORGIVE ANYONE FOR HURTING MY FRIENDS OR MY LOVED ONES!!"

And Suki destroyed everything that was in the path of her angel gun.

When she realized what she had done, her eyes came to reality and every villager came out.

Every villager yelled at her for what she did and they said "GET OUT!! WE DON'T WANT ANYONE HERE THAT IS LIKE YOU!! GET OUT OF THIS VILLAGE AND NEVER RETURN!!"

Suki got out of the village while crying.

It was night, the sun was down, Suki was still crying and then she heard footsteps coming towards her.

"I know who you are Suki..your so beautiful..join me and someday you'll find the right man to fall in love with."said a deep voice.

Suki said "Who are you?

"My name is Million Knives..I've come to see you Suki.." said Knives.

"Just leave me alone!! Said Suki in a sorrow way.

~End of Flashback~

After Vash kissed Suki, he broke the kiss and he said "Suki..?"

And she woke up and said "Vash.." and she hugged him "Thank you so much for rescuing me" and she hugged him tightly.

Vash said "Your welcome Suki..I was glad to help you."

Legato left, leaving Vash and Suki alone (if any of you have sick perverted minds, and you think that they did something, your wrong x_x.)

Vash and Suki went to a hotel to stay, Vash was taking a shower and Suki was in the bedroom waiting for Vash to come out.

Vash came out and saw Suki in the bed and she saw Vash's bruises and she asked "Are those bruises from the people that shot at you because they thought you killed some people they cared?"

Vash didn't say anything but he just nodded.

gunsmoke_sues @ 2004-01-29T14:58:00

2004-01-29T03:58:58Z

Mediaminer is truly, a scary, scay place. I sort-of-vaguely remember this fanfic when the author posted it to a Trigun mailing list I belong to. Never mind she's so underage for writing NC-17 fiction (I think she's 13...?), but the sheer toxic factor of this fanfiction is enough to make me weep. Weep tears of burning, stinging, lemon juice. I remember being asked to Beta-read this. Since it's still archived and just as bad as I remember it, I assume she ingored my advice.

Get yer rubber boots and indrustral strength gloves on, this is going to be messy.

Story Or Series Title: Life's Marionette
Fandom: Sobble. Trigun.
~~Culprit~~ Author's Name: PsychoYaoiChild Now, I like Yaoi. Yes, I do. But not when it's like this ;_; My virgin eyes!
Summary: Ehhh what would you think if Vash and Wolfwood ended up having a kid of their own? strange Right?! HELL NO! THIS IS A STORY OF LOVE HATRED AND MOST OF ALL THE FATE THAT BRINGS IT ALL TOGETHER THIS THE ONE AND ONLY LIFE"S MARIONETTE!!! FILLED WITH YAOI GOODNESS AND DEATH >.> Only first few chapters up.

Yep. Mpreg. You betcha. While I'm as open minded as they come, this makes me cringe as much as these things do. But that's not the worst of it. Oh no. You haven't met Aya.

Full Name (plus titles if any): Aya Kosumi.
Full Species(es): Great. A frelling Plant. Well, I assume that, because she's like OMG 17!11, but has lived for a century.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Blue. Flowing. Ack. x-x;
Eye Color (include adjectives): Purple. It wouldn't a Sue if she didn't have inhuman coloured eyes.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: I don't think so.
Special Possessions (if any): A sword, and with that, a supposed reputation as being legendary with it. And a damn loud mouth.

Annoying Origin: From an Alley....o_O; More like the freakin' gutter.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: The fact she is allowed to stay with them,d espite her overwealmingly annoying habits.
Annoying Special Abilities: Able to bully poor Wolfwood around? Know more about Plants that Knives, Vash or anyone else for that matter? And when she's around, copious amounts of blood seem to...suddenly appear...*hums* Oh and she knows how to be a midwife.
Other Annoying Traits: Trying to sleep with canon characters, despite the fact the author establishes them as gay. How odd.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

To truely appricate the horrible-piece-of-words-strung-together-masquerading-as-a-story element of this fanfiction, you really do need to read it all. Forewarning, theres a Lemon scene right off the bat. But I'll be nice and not include that here...;D

The plot (or PWP more like it...) is set...Aya pops up, and everyone goes WTF?!

Vash poked his head out of the bathroom and slumped back into the bed obviously tired. He pulled the covers over his head then peeked his eyes back out when he figured out that people were in the room, besides Wolfwood. His evergreen eyes shined a tired glow and he remained staring until he finally spoke "What were you guys talking about?"
The girls stared at him and for a second they thought they were both crazy to think such things of the sweet man. "We....were talking...about" Meryl Started
" WE THINK YOUR PREGNANT MR.VASH!" Millie chirped.
"Millie!"
"Oh Sorry Meryl"
Vash stared at them again and laughed. "Really what were you guys talking about?"
"WE'RE SERIOUS VASH!" Meryl Yelled "WE THINK YOUR PREGNANT"
"Crazy damn women" Wolfwood muttered getting up from the bed and walking toward the door.
"MR. WOLFWOOD DONT GO!" Both girls Yelled toward Him.
"IM GOING OUT FOR AWHILE VASH YOU STAY HERE AND GET SOME REST"
"ok...."Vash...whispered covering his head with the covers. "ummm girls...could you go?"
"Vash.......We're going to stay with you until Wolfwood comes back."
"Well at least get out of our room so I can get some reasonable sleep"
"Alright" the girls whispered leaving Vash alone in the room
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wolfwood look toward the sky as the morning wind brushed across his shoulders. He had slipped his pants on before he had left and forgot his shirt. What an idiot he thought walking down the street. He passed an alley near a bar. And there laid a beautiful young woman. Her Blue hair had been flowing in her face and on the side of her was a sword. Swords were so uncommon now a days that just the sword intrigued Wolfwood. He walked over to the girl and as soon as he began to stretch out his arm to see if he was alive the girl grabbed his arm. "Who are you?!" She said her purple eyes opening wide and alarmed.
"hn I'm no one except a preacher in the eyes of God"
"Yeah whatever!" She said getting up. "I see you liked my sword may I ask why were you lunging for it preacher boy?"
"uhhh eh heh. Its a nice day isn't it?"
"Yeah sure is. I should report you to the cops for harassment"
"Uhhh Miss there is no need for any confrontation"
"Do have anything to eat?"
"um at my place"
"Well What are we waiting for?!" She said grabbing his arm. "Take me there Preacher boy and I wont report you"
"eheh Greaaaat"

If I raised my eyebrows any higher, they would have fallen off.

The girl shoved her way to the kitchen giving a slight wave to Wolfwood who had been smiling nervously the entire time. The first person to speak to the girl in a calm yet subtle was Meryl. "umm Hello Miss may I ask what is your name and Why are you here?"
The girl was the first person at the fridge and had already stuffed herself with a tomato sandwich. She was chewing moronically as she stared at Meryl. She smiled and opened her mouth. "SEE FOOD"
"UGH WOLFWOOD SHES DISGUSTING!" Meryl gagged.
The girl laughed her blue hair shining in a odd tint. She looked around and took up her bag. "Hey Preacher Boy do you have a Shower in this hell hole? And another thing its so fuckin hot Put on the air conditioner will ya" She noticed walked through his bedroom and noticed the shower on the end. Not even noticing Vash at the end of the bed staring at her. She took down her tied hair and walked into the shower locking the door behind her.
Wolfwood, Millie, and Meryl all stood there and stared in utter silence as the girl turned on the water and started singing. It sounded....loud was the word. VERY LOUD. The cringed as she gotten louder if it could get any more worse. Vash walked out of his and Wolfwood's room with just as much as a sweat drop as the rest of them.
"have any idea who she is?" He asked looking at Wolfwood.
"I Have NO FUCKING clue"
Both of them stared at each other and shrugged. "Lets...have some breakfast!" Wolfwood said smiling.
"I don't think I want any." Vash Spoke holding his stomach. "I think ill just lay down on the couch"
"Still sick huh?"
"a little...."
Suddenly the girl had rushed out of the bathroom in a wet soaking towel streaming and dripping on the carpet. She smiled again and opened her mouth " I HEARD BREAKFAST WHERE?!"
Millie took the girl's Arm.
"HEY! GET OFF"
"I'm not moving till you tell us who you are" Millie said sternly holding onto the girls arm.
"FINE BUT YOU BETTER LET ME GET DRESSED FIRST"
"Alright...."Millie said letting go of her arm and leading her back into the bedroom.
She waited outside the door for about 5 minutes and the girl came out. Looking ever so refreshed. She grinned. "Thank you Preacher Boy for your hospitality!"
Vash popped his head up from the couch he was sleeping on. "Preacher Boy?" He asked looking toward Wolfwood's way.
"Don't ask. She's been calling me that since I met her in the alley this morning."
"YOU MET HER IN ALLEY?"
"Yeah. I have a tendencies to draw strays."
"Too many." Vash snickered getting that glimmer in his eye.
"I wouldn't say that" Wolfwood said walking over and catching his lover's chin in his hand.
"Hmm maybe" the other answered as Wolfwood drew them in for a kiss.
The girl in the background took a chair at the table. " ehhh so they're gay?"
Millie and Meryl both nodded.
"Damn and I thought I was going to get laid tonight."
The two guys stopped at the word laid and stared at the girl both looking quite protective over each other. Wolfwood had his arm over Vash and Vash had one of his toward the Man's back.
"uhhh" She said "Sorry I asked"
"So what is your name?" Meryl chirped. Trying to get off the subject as soon as possible.
"My name is Aya, Aya Kosumi"
"Wow...your that legendary Swordsmen"
"No, Just a stray cat without a home"
"But they said you died years ago"
"Hah no I didn't. Never will"
"But...you look only 17"
"Don't worry about that will ya?" Aya finished, then getting a glass of water from the sink. She looked over to Vash for a second and closed her eyes. "It seems like someone has something coming soon"
Vash broke his entwinement with Wolfwood for a second and walked over to the girl.
"Oh...Like what?"
"haha. Well Mr. Vash I believe your pregnant." She says Listening to the birds. "I can tell because I know what you're all about."

Goddamnit, she is annoying! So, so annoying. Without a doubt, a Mary-sue. *bangs head against desk* I'd point out all the bad elements, but this is a report, not an essay....

Cowboy Andy should not breed.

2004-01-27T22:25:47Z

Time to break the pattern and report a Cowboy Bebop sue. I suppose I should mention that are quite a few sues/stus in this fanfic. They aren't that bad, but should be used as evidence against the pairing of FayeXAndy. The characters the author added aren't really that bad, it's just the story is full of !!!!!!!!!!!, bad grammar, a plot going to the bleak outskirts of nowhere, and frankly, is already too long to maintain any interest.

So yeah. It's bad. Not grusesome bad, like the past few Sues, but just.....bad.

Story Or Series Title: Better Days
Fandom: Damnit. Cowboy Bebop.
~~Culprit~~ Author's Name: RadicalEd4Ein The implications of that name scare me.

Full Name (plus titles if any): They are Faye! Childen sues/stus. Names as follows: Carson, Jordan, Sierra, Julian, Andy (Jr.).
Full Species(es): Human. Or Gremlins. You decide.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not mentioned. But considering the parents...*shudder*
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not mentioned.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: I don't think so.
Special Possessions (if any): Really annoying cowboy suits and Samurai costumes?

Annoying Origin: Andy and Faye got together. I'll leave it at that.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Faye's their mother. And she's the one whos's looking after them. Ironic, really. Personally, she doesn't strike me as the kind to settle down and well, raise children. She's a self-centered person, who had a hard enough time staying on the Bebop, let alone in a house. And Andy? WTF?
Annoying Special Abilities: Able to make Faye an OCC. I think that counts?
Other Annoying Traits: Just.....Annoying. And angsty. "Oooh, I hate the world".

I suppose it should be mentioned that thankfully, these childen don't seem to play a large role in the fanfiction...thus far. The story is clearly a WIP, so who knows. Or I suppose I should say....who cares? I think the plot....or the very poor imitation of one; plans to reunite everyone together. A tired formula indeed.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

This is the beginning of a long story that some friends and I got the idea for. So, this is just the opening to a complicated plot. Pay very close attention to every sentence of every chapter. ^.^

Pay close attention? I could barely keep my eyes open.

"You suck .." He muttered to her. She hit him on the back of the head.
"Excuse me?" she yelled at him. "You know, you could go live with your father if you wanted"
"Id rather live on the streets than live with either of you" He hissed at her. Jordan was the kind of kid who had the against the world attitude
"Go ahead, be my guest" Faye said casually. Jordan's jaw dropped slightly.
"As a mom, you're supposed to try to sto.." There was a loud crash heard from inside, and they soon realized that the troublesome trio was gone. They rushed inside, Sierra tagging along behind them to find them in the kitchen, each of them standing on another shoulders. Glass was shattered all over the floor as they tried to reach for a jar on a high shelf.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Faye shrieked.
"Boys will be boys." A familiar voice said coolly behind them. Faye grinded her teeth, and clenched her fists tightly as she turned around to find Andy leaning against the wall, his hat tipped slightly in front of his face.
"That's easy for you to say, you don't have to clean it up." Faye growled at him. The three boys looked over at them surprisingly, and fell onto the ground into a pile.
"Daddy!" they all yelled as they got up and tackled him
"Whoa there partners!" Andy chuckled as he caught his balance. He looked at Andy.
"Howdy there cowboy" Andy said to Him.
"I hate you" he growled as he walked into the living room. He frowned and got onto his knees and laughed
"Saddle up partners" he said to his toddlers. They all squealed with joy and jumped onto his back.
"Get off the floor, I just mopped. I don't want your dirty bacteria all over my clean floor." Faye told him as she crossed her arms.
"Looks like mommy's got PMS" he whispered to his sons. They giggled at the word and scurried off into the living room. Andy got up and brushed himself off.
"Faye, there's something I need to tell you." Faye looked away, and tapped her foot. Andy waited.
"Okay, im listening" she said, still looking away.
"There's an enormous bounty on a hacker on."

Okay. An example of using poorly fleshed out new chracters making a canon character OOC. I mean just when was Faye a neat freak? I'll agree with Andy, she does have PMS at times, but still. It's rather painful, and reminds me constantly of why anime characters shouldn't settle down for a family. it never works, my dear Sue-authors!

Ed rushed down hill as fast as she could, all she could think about was finding a way around the avalanche rather than try to out run it. As Ed ran down faster and faster her scream soon turned into laughter. Only to someone like Ed could this be considered fun. Just than a familiar sound was heard as she was avoiding the "avalanche".

"Woof.....Woooof"

Ed quickly stopped, almost as if in mid air, but snapping out of her trance soon enough to jump to the ledge where the sound was coming from.

"EIIIIIIIN there you are! I found you!"

As she stepped on the ledge, the "avalanche" of rocks raced by her and continued down the hill. Ed's smile and joy for finding Ein soon turned into a wince of pain, as she looked down at her cut up feet. Ein moaned sympathetically.

"Heh... Ein, maybe we she take it easy on the hide and go seek eh?" she said with only half-seriousness.

"Woof."

-End Scene- "Dr. Kiko?...odd..." Ed yelled, then whispered. "Kiko would respond to Ed immediately... let's go look Ein!" Ein gave a bark of approval.

Ed walked into Dr. Kiko's office expecting him to be at his desk. Ed, with Ein right at her side, started to walk around to the back of the office. She then saw Dr. Kiko sitting down in the basement, his attention focused towards the T.V. From where she was, she couldn't hear, nor see what Dr. Kiko was so intent on. Must have been something good if the good doctor didn't even hear Ed's screaming, she thought. She started to walk down the steps, and put her finger to her mouth, signaling for Ein to keep quiet. As she got closer to the basement floor she heard...

Just an exmaple of how she cuts to different characters/places without warning. o_O; I got confused. Still am, actually. Who the hell is Doctor Kiko? And isn't Kiko a female name? Listen author, if your'e going to chuck characters in, at least explain who the hell they are.

"This is no home Ein, this is just a building with us two living inside..but the bebop, well that was different. Ed thought leaving the bebop was going to lead me to my true home. But instead Ed end up here."

"WOOF"

"Do you think their still up their Ein? Spike, Jet and Faye?, floating around, catching criminals....staying together....like a family. * sigh * it would be impossible to find them now, all bounty hunters have Stealth Computers installed on their ships, un-hackable...even by Ed"

Ed picked up the picture and held it close. She observed everything about it. As she looked at the picture something caught her attention. The pinwheel that was in her hand. Her eyes lit up with joy.

"OF COURSE EIN!!! The pinwheel!!!"

"woof"

"That's the pinwheel Ed gave to spike, the same pinwheel that installed an emergency locator just in case those bakas tried running out on Ed..again. But with the stealth computers installed I'm not sure that signal would still be accessible through public connections. And who knows, jet might have taken it off years ago..I could try hac.."

Ed looked back at the boxes lying on the ground.

"but the promise Ein....no more hacking..OH well I guess Ed can make an exception!"

"Woof"

-End scene-

Hours later Ed sat at her desk with her old computer online and ready. She reached for her goggles.

"well Ein here goes nothing"

Ed slipped the goggles on over her eyes. All she could see was darkness.

"c'mon you piece of shit! WORK!"

"woof"

Ed took off her goggles looking down at where Ein was barking.

"what is it Ein?"

"Woof"

Ed looked at where Ein was facing to see that the power cord wasn't plugged in.

*falls over anime style*

Ed got up and slipped the goggles back on over her eyes. Now with the power on, everything in cyberspace was now visible right in front of her eyes.

"Ok lets see, maybe if Ed ran a search on "Bebop"

Ed cycled for countless hours through hundred of files, searching endlessly through the deep corners of cyberspace. When Ed had finally slipped off her goggles her eyes were dilated and red.

"aye! Ein doesn't look like Ed be able to locate them without doing a little hacking"

Ed looked over to see Ein asleep on the cardboard couch.

"good idea Ein, Ed will just run an overnight search, their bound to turn up somewhere. Hmm what should.my.hacker name be.can't use Ed they'll automatically know its me..hmmmmm..AH I GOT IT!" Ed slowley looked at each key as she typed in her alias "swordfish".

Ed set down her goggles and dozed off in the spot where she was sitting at her computer.

*End Scene*

I had to say it. Ein's got the best dialogue in this story.

Happy Austalia Day.

2004-01-26T08:56:11Z

Wow. I'm so very sorry about the long, decidedly unplanned hiatus. So, to make up for it, I'll do a Sue-report.
I've found a Bebop-sue, but it's over 40 chapters long, so I'll be reporting that one in a few days.

For now, you'll just have to live with a Legato sue. Oh the pain of it all..X_x;

Story Or Series Title: Revelation Legata.
Fandom: Trigun. Ouch.
~~Culprit~~ Author's Name: LegataBringerOfDeath
-ugh- One of those authors.
Summary:What happens when a mysterious woman is created by Knives and Legato? Can Nicholas D. Wolfwood survive her wicked Mind games?

Wolfwood X Legata
Legata X Legato Ah god. I'm cringing already and I haven't made it past the stats yet.

It's WIP, but lets hope it goes no FURTHER. Oh, I'm the kind of person who likes forewarning, so this story is rated R. There's badly written smut in it. I don't have the guts to include it in the sample.

Full Name (plus titles if any): Legata. Jeez, whose name might that be? A horrible mangling of *cough*Legato*cough*.
Full Species(es): Human. Well, whatever mangled genes are Legato's, she is a clone. Funny that. They live on a planet where the technology in general doesn't reach past early twentith century standards, yet they can clone people, something in this day and age is theretical? And never mind that a female verison is not a clone.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Azzure. Direct quote.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Golden. Lined with black eyeliner. >_> Prostitute fashion is in for Sues this season, I think.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Quote "well manicured nails were also painted crimson. Azzure colored hair went past my shoulders and fell over one of my eyes. The black shirt I wore is tight and brings out my breasts. The grey miniskirt I've got on is slightly hiked up. Black boots come up to my knees and a white trench coat with the spikes on the shoulder was on my small frame. My coat lacked the skull that Legato had on his". End quote. All she needs is a peephole bra and sock suspenders....*bangs head against desk*
Special Possessions (if any): The ability to suddenly have a relationship with Wolfwood, with no establishing origin, or ANYTHING. Does Legato's DNA count as special possession? Oiy.

Annoying Origin: Apprently, Knives and Legato created her. Why did you do that, you stupid, stupid, crazy plant?
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: 'Been dating Wolfwood for six months. Oh dear. x_X: Again, shes a sporking clone of Legato. Annoying enough.
Annoying Special Abilities: Able to make Wolfwood really, really horny? Despite that Legato scares the living beejesus outta Wolfwood?
Other Annoying Traits: Just ugh. The story didn't progress far enough before it degraded to mindless smut.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

The intro of this thankfully short story.

I walked into the taveren and leaned against a wall then closed my golden eyes. The black eye shadow really accented them, along with the silver eyeliner. My lips were crimson, like the color of blood. My well manicured nails were also painted crimson. Azzure colored hair went past my shoulders and fell over one of my eyes. The black shirt I wore is tight and brings out my breasts. The grey miniskirt I've got on is slightly hiked up. Black boots come up to my knees and a white trench coat with the spikes on the shoulder was on my small frame. My coat lacked the skull that Legato had on his.

I opened my eyes and looks around abit. Suddenly I was in some sort of a lab...The walls were white, the floor was made of linoleom. I looked down and saw I was naked, and in some kind of liquid and in a container. There are machines hooked up to me. A man was checking one of the machines, his hair is blue. I reconigzed him...He was Legato Bluesummers. From his DNA I was created. Another man appeared and shut off the machines and let out the liquid. His name was Knives.

I was then taked out of the container and told to stand, I did so.

"Looks like I did a good job of creating her...Do you agree Legato?"

"Yes Master Knives, a very good job..."

"I shall call her...Legata"

Tee-hee. That last line reminds me of Austin powers. Only not as funny..>_>

I snaped back into reality and looked at Nicholas D. Wolfwood and blinked. When did he get here??

"Yes Wolfwood?" I asked.

"I got your red wine like you asked me to..." He had replied.

"Thanks..." I took the wine from him and followed him to his table. The taveren was noisy and crowded. After we finnished our drinks I sighed.

"Whats wrong Legata?"

"It's to noisy here!"

"Want to go back to our hotel room?" He asked me. I nodded. We both got up and walked the short distance to our room. I pulled out my key and unlocked the dor and walked in with Wolfwood behind me. I walked over and sat on the large bed.

"Wolfwood?"

"Yes Legata?"

"I love you..." Wolfwood smiled at me.

"I love you to hon." Wolfwood walked over and put an arm around me.

Ah, the love that rips canon to shreds and has to basis, meaning, purpose or even sense.

There's a really, really , really toxic sample I wanted to add, but I won't, because it's rather Lemon-ish. And squicky...well, you can read the story if your'e a glutton for punishment. I guess the worst part of it all was it's just a pointless, pointless story with no point.

gunsmoke_sues @ 2004-01-19T15:07:00

2004-01-19T04:07:15Z

Ack. I won't be reporting many (if at all) Trigun/Bebop sues this week, see my friend's in a bit of a hard spot, I'm helping her apply for Youth allowance/places to stay and stuff, so I'll not be online much at all. Only to check mail and LJ.

Still, if you have a report, email it to me, I'll try to post it.

gunsmoke_sues @ 2004-01-18T16:25:00

2004-01-18T05:25:39Z

I know this isn't a Sue as such, but still. I'm laughing my head off, and shaking my head at the same time. Good god.

Anyway. Onto the real subject, which is....

I thought I would search a bit and find some nice mellow Sues, something nice and easy after yesterday's painful one. Apparently not. Annnnnnnnnd it's in script format. *tosses her metal spork over her shoulder and whips out a gun-shaped paddle*

Story Or Series Title: Angel blades
Fandom: Trigun. Oh how I pity thee.
~~Culprit~~ Author's Name: Blades-The-Mercenary

Full Name (plus titles if any): Angela Cath Valentine. Me senses faint Bebop tendancies here.
Full Species(es): Human. Given the title, I was surprised. Not a plant?
Hair Color (include adjectives): "Light Purple **middle length tied back** -have a long blade running through her hair-" Direct quote. Blades, oh how cliche are we going to be today?
Eye Color (include adjectives): "Violet -narrow tough looking eyes but still pretty-" Direct quote. Ouch.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Apparently, she has a six-pack. If only I meant the Lager kind. Nope, this Mary-sue is a beefy one. Scar across her left eye (I think...) six on her back, and a rose tattoo. Way too many pointy things up her sleeves.
I figure her clothes are unusual, so here we go....
Outfit: Normal Outfit: A tight black button up half shirt one button buttoned and tight black shorts and she has a black cape

Mercenary outfit: -Wearing her normal outfit made up of and long white jacket with black lining and a long cloth belt that tries at the side of her hip the jacket comes together in a V shape to her waist and the jacket opens again right under the belt under the jacket she wears a white wraps around her from right under her arms to her waist and black short on her feet she wearing long black tie up boots- -her light purple hair tied back to a pony tail and holding scythe in her hand- -on her belt five swords two on each side of her hips and one back next to a gun- -under her jacket is a short sword on her back- -running through her hair is a thin blade- -swings her bag over her on each side of the bag are two100 pound brace blades(go on her arms)- -in the bottom of her jacket is an arsenal of daggers knives and blades- (I am not going to go to the cape this is her everyday outfit and she has even more weapons) -

Special Possessions (if any): Bad grammar? Badly described physique? Has an angsty past- but in Chapter 4 you get a decription on how to calm her down! WTF!?

Annoying Origin: April town and November City. I mean pick ONE. She can't be from two places at once.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: I don't think she's related to anyone, but she's trying to kill Vash. x_X;
Annoying Special Abilities:The fact she can lug around more metal than a scrapyard. Hmm. Mercenary, the annoying talentless kind that people hire all the time, regardless of her track record. Can switch moods instantly.
Other Annoying Traits: Does that annoying thing where she's trying to kill Vash, but despite it, Vash wants her. Ugh. Oh and she tells people how she injures them. "I broke three of your ribs". No shit. The fact the author wrote this in script format, used !! and TYPES LIKE THIS, should be mentioned. Or shot. Either way.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Dis: I do not own Trigun.....-sigh- I love Trigun so much I would only change on thing Blades would be in it.

Had to mention that. Had to. If you love it so much, why do you rape it and spawn horrible sues like this? Why? Ever heard of flowers and chocolates? Or at least buying the merchendise?

On to the fight scene, which aside from confusing, is in script format, has cliched, annoying stupid, badly written dialogue and is just about as enjoyable was getting an ingrown toenail removed.

Vash: -eyes widen- What?! -They narrow- (thinking: Why can't I get a break?) Who sent you?
Blades: -smiles- I can't tell you that...-stands up- I will meet you tomorrow at the time right before the time of the twilight ok Cutie?-walks past him-
Vash: One thing Miss Blades before you go?
Blades: -stops- What?
Vash: -turns around- I hope you wear that outfit -smiles-
Blades: -sweat drop and slight blush unseen- then I won't -walks out of the room-
Wolfwood: -standing in his door way- -smoking a broken cig. - Her?

-Later on the next day Vash and everyone is walking about the town-

Vash:-his eyes serious thinking about Blades the what might happen later in the day- (In his head: Great, I know nothing about her but yesterday -remember the bar fight and how she took out their weapons- Damn it will all that weight on her jacket she is still that fast) -his eyes serous narrow some sweat on his brow-
Wolfwood: So, -serous eyes wearing his sunglasses- Your thinking about fighting that woman..
Vash: Yeah I don't know what to do..And she is so beautiful too? -Sad anime eyes-
Blades: -walking on the other side of the street- -glares at Vash and smiles- -then with her pointer finger she runs it past across her neck- -smug smirk-
Vash: -nervous Anime sweat drop-
Wolfwood: -smiles- So, your going to go through with it?
Vash: Do I have a choice? -Sigh-
-just then a little boy with is looking out a second story window leans over the pain her leans to my weight over and looses his balance as he begins to fall his eyes widen in fear he screams-
Vash: Oh no
-No one could do anything, only to watch in horror even Vash couldn't get their in time-
Blades: -sigh- I kid like you should be more careful -holding the boy in her arms- -places him on the ground- -places her hand on his hand- -smiles- Fate was with you today.
Tom: (this name is Tom lol) -smiles nervously- Than thank you Ma 'am. -He runs off in to his house again-
Vash: -smiles-I see your not that bad of a person are you?
Blades: huh I hate kids
Vash: Do you have to be nasty about anything?
Blades: Yeah, and your going to be dead by sunset.
Vash: Why do you have to be so mean? -Anime tears T_T-
Blades: -smiles- 4 hours -walks off- oh and Vash -stop-
Vash: Yeah? -Depressed-
Blades: Meet me at the cliff at the far edge of the town ok Cutie?
Meryl: What was that about?
Vash: Nothing -depressed Vash look lol-
-Sitting on the edge of a cliff wearing her jacket outfit- -a sweet little smiles on her face-
Vash: -walks up wearing his sun glasses his coat flowing in the blow-
Blades: Wow you could have run away but that wouldn't have been much fun... -she jumps to her feet- -turns around- Let's get started- -changes at him with a quick speed and socks in the face- That was a starter
Vash:-falls back sitting on the sandy soil- -holding his nose that is bleed with anime tear T_T- That hurt!
Blades: Wuss!
Vash: -stands up- I don't really want to fight you -crazy anime pissed off face-
Blades: -narrow eyes- you have no choice in the matter...-starts throwing punches at him while he dodges every hit- when are you going to hit me?!
Vash: -thinking: she is fast.....- -while the thought crosses his mind she lands a hard hit in the middle of his gut- -he jumps to his knees holding his stomach in much pain-
Blades: Wow, You aren't as good as a thought Vash -steping back- -drawing her sword from her side- -brings it up to her face and lick the blade- Stand up!
Vash: (thinking: What the Hell? My stomach hurt I can hardly move) -stands up slowly-
Blades: Just to let you know I broke three of your ribs -steps back a few steps-
Vash: -his eyes become very narrow sweat dripping for his forehead- I feel like I got hit by a car. Why do you need the sword?!
Blades: I am going to make this interesting for you Vash the Stampede.....
Vash: What!?

Blades: VASH DRAW YOUR GUN!!!!!!!!-Smiling- Come on, Fight back, Look at me not as a woman just an enemy......
Vash: Fine -builds his strength up and stand up straight then draws is gun and points it at her-
Blades: -smiles- Good Now I don't feel bad beating you.
Vash: (thinking: I can't get hit if I do I am done for, Damn it still hurts, How, can I beat her? I have to watch her closely.) -Narrow eyes-
Blades: Now, what to do, what to do?
Vash: -firers a shot out aimed at her shoulder-
Blades:-blocks in with her sword- -smirks- -charges at him with great speed-

Vash:-eyes widen- NOW! -jumps to the side and fires him gun the bullet scathing her arm but right after Blades partly slice Vash's side- -he falls to the ground them sits up holding his side- -an idea passes his through his head- -smirks- (thinks: That's it)
Blades: Oh I see, your smiling, that means you have a plan right?
Vash: Yeah and I am going to win this?
Blades: I like to make his more fun but I am sorry I am not going to let you win...
Vash: -stands up- Bring it on -smiles- -puts his gun away-
Blades: (Thinking: what is he planning?-
Tom and his friends:-watching the fight from behind a near by boulder-
Tom: It is that woman that saved me (he is 7)
John: Yeah and she is pretty
Mikey: She is fighting that blonde guy, who is the bad Guy here?
Tom: It has to be the guy he is Vash the Stampede....
John: Hey, He was really nice be can't be that bad...
Tom: But, that woman saved me she can't be the bad guy
Mikey: Many they are just training or something?
John: There Not Train look at Vash he is bleed.....
Tom: She is going to win
Blades: -alright Vash the Stampede it is TIME!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH -changes at him-
Vash:-runs towards her and dodges the blade sliding underneath her high swing on the way pulling her belt-
Blades: (thinks: He dodged it Nice.) -stops turns around- Nice one Vash But it is time Huh -her eyes widen as her jacket falls off (that is her outfit) all she as left on is a bandage wrap that is only wrapped around her chest and he hands and tight black shorts with her boots- -turns red- -still and in shock-

Vash: -stand up again- -grins- WOW, you have a nice body and you shouldn't wear an outfit with a weighted bottom like that. (At the bottom of her jacket are all knives) and only a cloth belt..... I do mean it -smiling proudly- ^_^ I really do like you your well curved...

-Back to Tom and friends-
Tom: Wow, she is an angel. -he see Blades back, on her back six scar that looks like they are curved in to her back with a knife shaped like wings-

-Back to Vash and Angel I mean Blades-
Zindoche: WHEN WILL I BE IN HERE!!!!-Smiles sweetly-
BTM: Later Zin

-Ok, ok back to VASH AND BLADES-

Blades: -start getting really pissed off- -begin to scream- YOU PERVERT we are going to have a rematch and I am going to kill you for this. -Blushing- GIVE ME MY BELT!!!!!!!!!!!
Vash: Scary! -Walks over and hands it to her- Blades: -before he could get away she slaps him across the face- -flaming background- YOU'RE GOING TO DIE
Tom: She is scary
John: You can say that again.

-End scene-

-In the middle of the street-
Blades: Time for our rematch
Vash: HERE!?!
Blades: Yeah -in knives on the bottom of her coat-
Vash: -narrow eyes- (in his head: Damn it)
Blades: Both fight to our fullest -gets ready to fight-
Vash: -puts his sunglasses on ready to draw his gun- Fine

-to be cont.-

Zindoche: GO VASHY GO VASH YEAH VASH!!!!!!!!
Blades: What about me?
Zin: oh who cares!

A paper cut soaked in lemon juice wouldn't hurt as much.

2004-01-17T09:29:18Z

Well now. It’s rather sad, how I can simply click on ff.net Anime=> Trigun=> set it to 5000 words or more on a PG-13 rating and WHAM. Mary sue. In CAPTIAL LETTERS.

OMG LIKE WOW1.

Ouch. My brainmeats hurt. I can’t read anymore of this, I might do something stupid.

Story Or Series Title: SOMEONE TO RETURN MY LOVE
Fandom: Trigun.
~~Culprit~~ Author's Name: YOKO KITSUNE NETORIE MAXWELL (ouch) It hurts to read the authors name.

Full Name (plus titles if any): Netorie. That’s it I think. God I hope so.
Full Species(es): I’m not too sure, but her lifespan is 120, but she’s 16. (4EVA). Yes, I would like to order an inflatable Mary-sue, suitable for gagging the toughest stomachs of jaded fans. Yes, my age is over 16, but my IQ isn’t.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Light sand colour.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Dark gold. Oooo.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "Her skin, as dark as the Arabians" Direct quote. OMFG.
Special Possessions (if any): "determination, and a mysterious past" Direct quote. Gun. Bounty higher than Vash’s. all $$98 billion. I’d pay that….for someone to kill her!

Annoying Origin: Wolfwood’s sister. Legatos sister. This story offically (it was official the instant I read it) makes NO FRELLING sense. OMFGWTFBQQ.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Author originally intended to make Her and Vash cousins. But she’s Legato’s and Wolfwoods sister. Wow. Gunsmoke is full of pretty inbred hicks. Ugh..-_-;;
Annoying Special Abilities: Can distort canon continuity. As in Legato is alive. As in Knives is….aww hell, I dunno WHATS going on. Can shoot people. Can make Vash obsessed with her, and also make him a complete git to other canon characters. Can sing. Like WOW BEEUTIFUL voice like.
Other Annoying Traits: Suffers from ANGST MAX FACTOR! Ugh. Likes to kills things.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Character info: Netorie Age: 16 (really 120) Everything else is unknown. She is in so many ways like vash. But when they meet, she never tells him the truth. Vash has to rely on Nicholas to give him the answers to netorie's secrets.

PROLOGUE

The wind was cold, beating against his back. The rain mixed with his bloody tears. Now one could help him now. She was dead. That's all he could think about. "I let her down." he kept repeating. " Why couldn't I save her!?" A crazy, insane laugh came from the side. " Looks like you were to pathetic to save her, vash. You should try harder next time. Besides.it's all your fault that she's dead brother." Knives was standing to the left of vash. In Vash's arms you can see a body. Soaked in rain.in blood. The body was being held in the blood stained hands..of a murderer.

The angsty pro-logue. I’m like so hooked. Like no.

Half way across the town, a young girl is hiding out in a back ally. She step's out into the light revealing her features. This girl was about five foot, six inches tall. Her hair was as light as the sand. Her skin, as dark as the Arabians. Her eyes, they shown dark gold...determination, and a mysterious past.
"THERE SHE IS!" "GET HER!" Seven men shouted and ran towards her, with their guns drawn.
"You boys mean me?" She asked innocently. " Why don't you just give up?" The men were surrounding her by now. " Come on babe...come down to the station with us. You know you want to!" One of the men started to step closer to her.
"Who in hell do you think you are?" she hissed, revealing a gun from her shirt. " No one orders me around like that. Do you know my reputation? No one lives if they try to hunt me down." With a flick of the trigger, all but one is dead.
" We'll get you one day missy...you can count on that. I have back up all ready here. Look around you...you have no way out."
All around her she could see figures. Figures of what were yet to come.
" No one can catch me you idiot..." The girl shoots him with no regrets on her shoulders. "...but you can try." She starts running. " Catch me if you can..."
And just like that, she vanishes in the mist.

Oiy. The part where it’s thinly veiled that this is the character the author mentioned.

Vash had started to walk towards them. The girl shoot's another guy in the shoulder, and runs. " you'll never catch me!" she yelled, totally unaware that she was about to run right into vash.
" Oh, no..." Nicholas said, not to excited. He once again was pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. The girl runs smack into vash. He catches her before she falls.
" What the hell?" she looks up at him. " Hu...LET GO OF ME YOU JACKASS!!!" she tries to get away from him. " Sorry...just trying to help you miss!" Vash said, smiling. The men come over to Vash. " where is that witch!" one of the shot men shouted. " Give up the girl punk!" The leader of the group pointed his gun at vash's head.
" Just a minute miss..." vash got closer to the men. " come on guys! We don't want any trouble here." " Hand her over you dumbass!" They all get closer to vash. Their gun's are pointing to all different places on him.
" Well, if you guys wont stop...I guess I'll have to teach you a lesson then." Vash pulls out his gun and hits them over their heads with it. When vash turns around the girl tries to run. " Are you alright?" vash grabs her arm, and pulls her a little closer.
" I can take care of my self you idiot...now let go of me." " Hey...don't go yet! I wanted to ask you something. Why were those men chasing you?" " That doesn't concern you... Mister stampede." She gave a smirk. " How did you know my name? And what is yours?" Vash looked at her surprised. " I just know." She breaks free of vash's hold. Then she starts to walk away into the setting sun. she turns around one last time just as Nicholas joins Vash. " By the way...it's netorie...netorie Maxwell." With that said, netorie disappears. " Well...that was strange. She did say her name was netorie, right?" Nicholas threw his cigarette down. " Yeah...she did." Vash was still looking in the directions netorie had walked.
" Then you don't want to see her again." Nicholas turns around and starts heading toward the bar. There is a slight wind blowing.
Vash starts to think: why did those guys want her...dead or alive? I just don't understand. Vash feels something hit his feet, so he looks down, and picks it up. The paper says: "WANTED" The notorious netorie is wanted dead or alive. Your reward will be $$98 billion.
Vash is shocked. He folds the paper up, puts it in his pocket, and follows Nicholas back to the bar.

So what you think so far? This is my first trigun fic. I write a lot of gundam wing. So this is me trying. Please R&R!!! ^_~

I think NOT. Please, do us a favour and don’t ever open Word again.

Vash looked at her, worried. " No...you're wrong." Netorie looks at him sadly, ad yet confused at the same time. " What do you mean?" " My life is hard, and miserable. People do fear me...but other's try to get me." " I know how you feel. My life is no walk in the park. It's like walking straight through Death Valley." Netorie lowed her eyes. " Tell me...please?" Vash was sounding curious. " Okay. Well, I'm always being," Netorie went on and told vash everything. Like how she couldn't stay somewhere for more than two days. If she did, then she would end up being chased until she gave up. Netorie also told Vash about her relationship with Nicholas. How they were together for fifteen years. Then split apart because of knives. Netorie never did really tell the truth.

It was about twelve o'clock before Netorie finished. Vash had so many questions for her to answer. And that's exactly what she did. She answered them all.
" It's late. I really need to go in." Netorie said, standing up. " Yes it is. Netorie?" Vash stood up and faced her. " Yeah?" Netorie looked up at him. " I really liked talking to you tonight." " Really?" They were looking into each other's eyes. " Yeah." Vash said softly. He brushed his hand against her cheek. Then he started to lean down. They both closed their eyes. And he kissed her. A few minutes later Netorie pulled away from him. She looked away from him and slightly shook her head, taking in a breath. " We can't... We can't be doing this." She said softly. " I...I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." Vash said softly. " We better go inside." " Yeah..." Netorie started to walk towards the door. Vash followed her. Netorie opened her door. Then she turned to Vash. Vash looked into her eyes once again. He started to lean down again. When he did, Netorie put a single finger to his soft, gentle lips. Vash stopped him-self. " Right...well...good-night." Vash spoke softly. Netorie could see disappointment in his eyes. " Night." She said, giving him a weak smile. Vash turned around and walked back to the room, where he would find Nicholas sleeping. Netorie watched him quietly. Then she shut the door. The lights went off not to long after.

I’m going to cry. And it’s not because I’m a romantic sap either. X_X;

gunsmoke_sues @ 2004-01-17T13:33:00

2004-01-17T02:33:45Z

Been a hell of a day. I'll post today's sue (which is Saturday- I missed Fridays sue....at least where I'm standing..;D) a bit later. I need some ice-cubes and a mallet now.

Thursday Guest report by donna_c_punk.

2004-01-15T22:49:58Z

Sporks and sharp pointy intruments to the ready!

Story Or Series Title: Gifted
Fandom: Trigun
Culprit Author's Name: Neko Blah Blah
Full Name (plus titles if any): Emiko
Full Species(es): Human-flute-playing-Sue-bitch-with-a-'tude
Hair Color (include adjectives): black with blue highlights. I'll make her black and blue. ::punches fist into open palm::
Eye Color (include adjectives): dark blue with extravagant eyelashes!
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Full and kissable lips. I wonder whose mouth those kissable lips will be violating?
Special Possessions (if any): A silver revolver and her special flute. A black trenchoat with no sleeves but has buttons and chains across the front to keep it closed. On the inside, there were 30 little sleeves for Emiko to put her daggers. And it had one last distinct quality, it was stitched with gold and silver thread.
Annoying Origin: Sue had a hard life. She and her brother were used and abused. Only their musical instruments gave them any joy. Are we getting the idea of who she's gonna be related to?
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is Midvalley the Hornfreak's sister.
Annoying Special Abilities: She can play the flute so beauuuuuutifully!
Other Annoying Traits: She has to say 'I AM GOING TO KILL YOU, VASH THE STAMPEDE!!' about three times in each chapter. WE. GET. THE. FUCKING. CLUE.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Emiko walked out of town and started walking into the desert. The suns were high in the sky since it was exactly noon. She walked on ignoring the sweat that was starting to drip into her eyes. She took a drink of water and kept walking. Her trench coat added a lot more weight because of all her daggers that were hidden in it. She checked on her gun and made sure that she hadn't forgotten it at the bar. It was still there, shining in its black killing glory.
"Omigod, its so hot!!! I think I'm gonna go insane!! Ugh. Why is it so HOT?! Evil sun.." Emiko started to complain. "I think that city life has made me all soft. I used to be able to handle all this.. I think..."

Maybe it's so fucking hot because you're on a DESERT planet wearing a goddamn black trenchcoat? Ya THINK?
(A/N: its me again. I don't think that you want me to describe her walking for the rest of the day..)
I prefer you describe her being violently TORTURED for the rest of the day.

The last sun was about to set. The moon was rising and Emiko stared at the moon, watching it rise, while thinking, 'Its so pretty. I remember watching it with big brother. it seems so long ago.'

::rolls eyes::

~*~ Flashback~*~
A man with a sax sat on the edge of a cliff and started playing. His body swayed with the music. He tilted the horn to the sky and started to play, it seemed as if he would play his heart out. Suddenly, the light sound of a flute joined in. It got closer to the man playing the sax and they both played in perfect harmony. The song ended, and the man said, "Emiko! You've improved!"
"Thank you, brother. Isn't the moon so pretty tonight? I think out playing made it rush into the sky don't you think?"
"Yes. I think that it did."
The Sue is so bad, even the goddamn SUN flees from her.
Emiko leaned her head on her brother's shoulder and just sat and stared at the moons. Her brother rested his head on hers and watched the moons rise. Emiko gave a small sigh of contentment.
"MIDVALLEY! WE HAVE TO GO NOW!" a voice called from the distance.
"Coming!" Midvalley answered. "Hey, Emiko, whatever happens, if you ever need help, go to Mr. Knives. He'll help you."
He'll help you, all right. HELP YOU DIE!
"You're coming back for me right?" asked Emiko. She sounded as if she had regressed ten years and went straight back into the time when her beloved brother first left.
"Of course! Why would you think that I wouldn't?" Midvalley lied smoothly.

Because your "sister"'s a Sue of the most horrible order?

He knew that most likely that none of the Gung ho Guns would make it out alive.
When did any of the Gung-Ho Guns EVER show this sort of attitude about themselves? They were very confident that they would kill Vash. Even after Vash defeated Dominique the Cyclops, the others thought they could destroy him. With guys like Legato and Knives in charge, you're gonna doubt your chances for success? I mean, what the fuck, man?
"I promise that I'll come back for you. Promise."
"Alright Midvalley. I'm going to go inside now. I'll see you later."

Run, Midvalley. Run like you've never RUN before.

~*~ End Flashback ~*~ Emiko started setting up camp for the night. She reached into her trench coat brought out her flute. She tilted the flute towards the ground and played a high trill. The sand blew away from the force of the waves and started to pile high and form a bowl shaped bottom. The sand was warm on at the bottom of the bowl and Emiko started to practice. She started player her scales, one at a time. She thought of her brother, Midvalley, and played that song that they played that night. It was called, ironically, "Together Forever, I Promise." She stopped and never finished that song. She cleaned up her flute and fell asleep.

Is it just me ... or is this relationship giving off serious incest vibes? ::squick::

The next morning, she started walking again. In the horizon, she saw a small oasis. She started to run towards it. The trees started to get thicker and thicker. When she arrived panting in the middle of it, she saw a clearing. In the clearing, there was a man sipping a cup of wine. He was tall, was a pale blonde, and exuded an aura of danger. He looked at her and said, "Welcome Emiko, dearest. Long time no see. You remember me don't you?"
"Knives, right? Midvalley worked for you? He told me that you were a wonderful man. And that if I needed anything at all, I should come and look for you."
"Your brother was a wonderful worker. I was proud of him. He went above and beyond the call of duty."
"Do you happen to know of a man named Vash the Stampede?"
"Of course! Isn't he the man that murdered your brother?"
"Dammit yes! Do you know where I can find that bastard?"
"Look in New Oregon. I heard that he was visiting there. Be careful, he has dangerous friends that would hurt you if you tried to get revenge."
Hey, way to go, Knives! Send the silly Sue to her doom. I'd rather see Legato make her jam her flute up her ass, right before she rips her still-beating heart from her chest ... I'll take what I can get though.
"Thank you. I'm sure that I can handle them. I'll see you soon."
"Alright. Tell me if you kill him!"
"I'm sure you mean WHEN I kill him." "Right. That's what I meant."

Then *he* kills her instead, for being an uppity imperfect human bitch who does not know her place.

Emiko left feeling renewed and left off towards New Oregon. She ran on with renewed vigor and started to run faster. She refused to stop. She kept running until night fell again. And she just simply laid down on the ground and fell asleep with the thought.
'I'm going to get you Vash the Stampede. I've got you now.'

Yeah, you really "got" him, don't you. The one time I wish Vash killed people. Well, one of the *many* times I wish Vash killed people ...

Oooh. We got a live one 'captn.

2004-01-14T11:00:03Z

donna_c_punk sent me this one. OMFG factor five.

Story Or Series Title: Clone. That's it. Woo for mysterious, alluring titles.[/sarcasm]
Fandom: Trigun.
~~Culprit~~ Author's Name: Clone-Eden. Me senses a pattern here.

Full Name (plus titles if any): Clone. (I think the author likes clones...)
Full Species(es): Plant...Clone? Agh.
Hair Color (include adjectives): "platinum blonde hair, slightly spiked." As quoted.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Given it's a clone of Knives (whatthe?) blue eyes, Cold blue eyes. 'Least it's not "orbs".
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Green plugsuit count? O_O;
Special Possessions (if any): Apparently, Knive's Black gun, and quite a few screws loose apparently.

Annoying Origin: Knives, in a fit of insanity (I assume) cloned her as his replacement.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Bein' a ~~sporking~~ clone of Knives is enough. Oh and she calls Knives "daddy". Good golly molly.
Annoying Special Abilities: Increased strength, mental capacity of a three year old, can use Knive's gun, can kick the peace lovin' crap out of Vash...need I go on?
Other Annoying Traits: The author does a remarkable job of making Vash seem like a whiny git, and reducing Knives to a gibbering wreak of a sterotypical madman confronted with his clone. Oh and Knives can forget things. Because he does that all the time. I mean, he is the guy that held a century old grudge against his darling brother...?

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Disclaimer: Yeah, so what if I don't own Trigun? You don't have to rub it in..
Thank god you don't.

Two years after the fight between brotherly plants, Knives sits at a small table in his room, staring out the window at the black, star lit sky, desperately trying to ignore his brothers peace lectures. Ever since that fight two years ago, Knives couldn't get rid of his beloved brother and something had been bugging him. Like he forgot something before the fight, but try as he might, he just could not think of it. He shrugged it off like he had for two years. Even if he did forget something, it wouldn't matter after two years. ******

Just o_O; *Snips the boring, bad attempt at suspense*
Knives snapped out of his trance to glare at Vash. "No, you idiot! I made a clone of myself, just in case I would fail or was wounded beyond repair. But, as you can see, it was a failure." he said, gesturing to the woman Knives sitting on the sandy ground, smiling at him. Knives' eye twitched, failure indeed. "I don't know how you got out, but go back! I have no need for y-" he stopped as the woman produced the black gun and held to him as if offering it as an offering. Vash froze and Knives took the gun, awestruck. "How-"

"I found it when I woke up. I decided you might need it, so I brought it with me." she said as her welled up with tears. "I'm sorry-sniff- I used a bullet to kill a bunch of spiders that persisted of pestering me in my mission to bring it to you. sniff sniff. Please don't hurt me! I'll go buy another bullet for you right now." She shot up and ran to the nearest gun shop, leaving behind a dumbstruck Vash and Knives.

Vash snapped back and grabbed to the gun from Knives, running into his room before the elder sibling could process what happened. "VASH! GET BACK HERE WITH MY GUN!" Knives yelled, running up the stairs after his sibling. A muffled "no" came from the door as Knives reached it. "Vash, if you want to live another day, give me my gun. It's not my fault you destroyed yours." he said, getting another muffled "no" in response. Knives turned around at a yelp and a thud. He found a box of bullets laying open of the wooden stairs.

He turned back to the room as yells and screams issued from it's confines. A few minutes later, the woman opened the door, handing Knives his gun. In the background, Knives saw his beloved brother laying unconscious by a broken chair. He looked back to the woman still wearing the traveling cloak, smiling happily at her accomplishment.

"So," Knives started as he raised an eyebrow at the woman's smile, "what was your name again?"

The girl stared at him a while, happiness swiftly replaced by confusion. "Father, you never gave me a name."

"Hmmm," Knives started, walking back to his room followed by the woman. "You've proved yourself useful so far. Why don't I just call you Clone," a high-pitched squeal came from behind him, "and we'll see if I change it." he finished, getting caught in another hug.

"Oh! Thank you! Thank you, father! I promise to be the best daughter you've ever had!" Clone said squeezing Knives harder.

"You're the only daughter I have." Knives said through his suffocating coughs. ******

Worst bit. I'm crying for christ's sake....

And the ending thus far, I had to include it....it just....speaks for itself.

C-E: Another short chapter. Sorry, but trust me, the next one will make up for it. Knives needs some time alone from the scratching on his door at night (you'll find out..) so he sends Clone on an impossible mission. To recover his lost (and by lost I mean DEAD) right hand man, Legato... Can Clone find the undead servant? Or will she be cursed to wander the sea of sand for entirety trying to please her beloved father. Find out in the next Clone!

Warning: Contains SPOILERS. May cause seizures and brain twitches (if you think too hard about Clone's thoughts).

gunsmoke_sues @ 2004-01-14T16:34:00

2004-01-14T05:34:37Z

donna_c_punk suggested a roster of days I can write reports, and days I can't.

Days I'll be doing the Sue'd reports:
-Tuesday
-Friday
-Saturday
-Sunday

Days I can't, and the days that guest Sue reporters can email me their reports.
-Monday
-Wednesday
-Thursday donna_c_punk will be taking this day.

And lastly, I'm not too sure on what godawful Trigun/Bebop fanfiction has been reported, and what hasn't, so if you've seen something there that deserves a rip, and you think it hasn't yet, coulda drop a link in reply?

*putters off to fiddle with the layout*

gunsmoke_sues @ 2004-01-13T18:38:00

2004-01-13T07:38:37Z

Okay, here's the deal. This isn't a community, mainly for the reason we don't want any ol' person glugging up the LJ, and secondly, so it can be more easily managed.

This community is soley for Trigun and Cowboy Bebop sues. Or when they cross over....*shudder*
However, it's far from exclusive.
Anyone with a passionate hate for goody-over rated, OMG BEEUTUFUL!11, dark, angsty sues is more than welcomed to join in. You can help by either just dropping me a link to a story, writing a review, or simply making snarky LJ comments.
Hopefully we can have a regular roster of reviewers soon.
All emails are to be sent to (and please include a subject line!) this address, or this one.

Format for reviews.
This format seems to work for mary_sues, so why not here? (don't worry about the HTML tags, I'll sort that out when posting it).

IMPORTANT: When reporting, keep your samples/excerpts SHORT. Not just because we don't want to slog through all that drek, but because posting another's fic in its entirety (or nearly so) is against LJ TOS. Don't risk it. Be choosy. Choose only the worst.

Story Or Series Title:
Fandom:
~~Culprit~~ Author's Name:

Full Name (plus titles if any):
Full Species(es):
Hair Color (include adjectives):
Eye Color (include adjectives):
Unusual Markings/Colorations:
Special Possessions (if any):

Annoying Origin:
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters:
Annoying Special Abilities:
Other Annoying Traits:

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Mary Sue references.
Sues in the Wilderness.
How to figure it's a Sue- a Guide.

Where you can find some of them..they breed like.....squicky mutated fridge lobsters!
Trigun FF.net
Trigun Mediaminer
Bebop FF.net
Bebop Mediaminer.

People interested in becoming "regular" Reviewers/Fic finders....
donna_c_punk
geeksicle

gunsmoke_sues @ 2004-01-13T16:39:00

2004-01-13T05:41:41Z

Welcome to the Gunsmoke journal.

This LJ is used expressively for the purpose of Searching (grab your sporks!), Reviewing (snark factor 5!) and hopefully (altough not likely) discouraging Mary sues and Gary Stus from infesting the wondeful Fandoms of Trigun and Cowboy Bebop.

Following post will be about rules/procedures on how to contribute to this LJ!

Happy Hunting!