Mediaminer is truly, a scary, scay place. I sort-of-vaguely remember this fanfic when the author posted it to a Trigun mailing list I belong to. Never mind she's so underage for writing NC-17 fiction (I think she's 13...?), but the sheer toxic factor of this fanfiction is enough to make me weep. Weep tears of burning, stinging, lemon juice. I remember being asked to Beta-read this. Since it's still archived and just as bad as I remember it, I assume she ingored my advice.

Get yer rubber boots and indrustral strength gloves on, this is going to be messy.

Story Or Series Title: Life's Marionette
Fandom: Sobble. Trigun.
Culprit Author's Name: PsychoYaoiChild Now, I like Yaoi. Yes, I do. But not when it's like this ;_; My virgin eyes!
Summary: Ehhh what would you think if Vash and Wolfwood ended up having a kid of their own? strange Right?! HELL NO! THIS IS A STORY OF LOVE HATRED AND MOST OF ALL THE FATE THAT BRINGS IT ALL TOGETHER THIS THE ONE AND ONLY LIFE"S MARIONETTE!!! FILLED WITH YAOI GOODNESS AND DEATH >.> Only first few chapters up.

Yep. Mpreg. You betcha. While I'm as open minded as they come, this makes me cringe as much as these things do. But that's not the worst of it. Oh no. You haven't met Aya.

Full Name (plus titles if any): Aya Kosumi.
Full Species(es): Great. A frelling Plant. Well, I assume that, because she's like OMG 17!11, but has lived for a century.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Blue. Flowing. Ack. x-x;
Eye Color (include adjectives): Purple. It wouldn't a Sue if she didn't have inhuman coloured eyes.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: I don't think so.
Special Possessions (if any): A sword, and with that, a supposed reputation as being legendary with it. And a damn loud mouth.

Annoying Origin: From an Alley....o_O; More like the freakin' gutter.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: The fact she is allowed to stay with them,d espite her overwealmingly annoying habits.
Annoying Special Abilities: Able to bully poor Wolfwood around? Know more about Plants that Knives, Vash or anyone else for that matter? And when she's around, copious amounts of blood seem to...suddenly appear...*hums* Oh and she knows how to be a midwife.
Other Annoying Traits: Trying to sleep with canon characters, despite the fact the author establishes them as gay. How odd.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:


To truely appricate the horrible-piece-of-words-strung-together-masquerading-as-a-story element of this fanfiction, you really do need to read it all. Forewarning, theres a Lemon scene right off the bat. But I'll be nice and not include that here...;D

The plot (or PWP more like it...) is set...Aya pops up, and everyone goes WTF?!

Vash poked his head out of the bathroom and slumped back into the bed obviously tired. He pulled the covers over his head then peeked his eyes back out when he figured out that people were in the room, besides Wolfwood. His evergreen eyes shined a tired glow and he remained staring until he finally spoke "What were you guys talking about?"
The girls stared at him and for a second they thought they were both crazy to think such things of the sweet man. "We....were talking...about" Meryl Started
" WE THINK YOUR PREGNANT MR.VASH!" Millie chirped.
"Millie!"
"Oh Sorry Meryl"
Vash stared at them again and laughed. "Really what were you guys talking about?"
"WE'RE SERIOUS VASH!" Meryl Yelled "WE THINK YOUR PREGNANT"
"Crazy damn women" Wolfwood muttered getting up from the bed and walking toward the door.
"MR. WOLFWOOD DONT GO!" Both girls Yelled toward Him.
"IM GOING OUT FOR AWHILE VASH YOU STAY HERE AND GET SOME REST"
"ok...."Vash...whispered covering his head with the covers. "ummm girls...could you go?"
"Vash.......We're going to stay with you until Wolfwood comes back."
"Well at least get out of our room so I can get some reasonable sleep"
"Alright" the girls whispered leaving Vash alone in the room
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wolfwood look toward the sky as the morning wind brushed across his shoulders. He had slipped his pants on before he had left and forgot his shirt. What an idiot he thought walking down the street. He passed an alley near a bar. And there laid a beautiful young woman. Her Blue hair had been flowing in her face and on the side of her was a sword. Swords were so uncommon now a days that just the sword intrigued Wolfwood. He walked over to the girl and as soon as he began to stretch out his arm to see if he was alive the girl grabbed his arm. "Who are you?!" She said her purple eyes opening wide and alarmed.
"hn I'm no one except a preacher in the eyes of God"
"Yeah whatever!" She said getting up. "I see you liked my sword may I ask why were you lunging for it preacher boy?"
"uhhh eh heh. Its a nice day isn't it?"
"Yeah sure is. I should report you to the cops for harassment"
"Uhhh Miss there is no need for any confrontation"
"Do have anything to eat?"
"um at my place"
"Well What are we waiting for?!" She said grabbing his arm. "Take me there Preacher boy and I wont report you"
"eheh Greaaaat"

If I raised my eyebrows any higher, they would have fallen off.

The girl shoved her way to the kitchen giving a slight wave to Wolfwood who had been smiling nervously the entire time. The first person to speak to the girl in a calm yet subtle was Meryl. "umm Hello Miss may I ask what is your name and Why are you here?"
The girl was the first person at the fridge and had already stuffed herself with a tomato sandwich. She was chewing moronically as she stared at Meryl. She smiled and opened her mouth. "SEE FOOD"
"UGH WOLFWOOD SHES DISGUSTING!" Meryl gagged.
The girl laughed her blue hair shining in a odd tint. She looked around and took up her bag. "Hey Preacher Boy do you have a Shower in this hell hole? And another thing its so fuckin hot Put on the air conditioner will ya" She noticed walked through his bedroom and noticed the shower on the end. Not even noticing Vash at the end of the bed staring at her. She took down her tied hair and walked into the shower locking the door behind her.
Wolfwood, Millie, and Meryl all stood there and stared in utter silence as the girl turned on the water and started singing. It sounded....loud was the word. VERY LOUD. The cringed as she gotten louder if it could get any more worse. Vash walked out of his and Wolfwood's room with just as much as a sweat drop as the rest of them.
"have any idea who she is?" He asked looking at Wolfwood.
"I Have NO FUCKING clue"
Both of them stared at each other and shrugged. "Lets...have some breakfast!" Wolfwood said smiling.
"I don't think I want any." Vash Spoke holding his stomach. "I think ill just lay down on the couch"
"Still sick huh?"
"a little...."
Suddenly the girl had rushed out of the bathroom in a wet soaking towel streaming and dripping on the carpet. She smiled again and opened her mouth " I HEARD BREAKFAST WHERE?!"
Millie took the girl's Arm.
"HEY! GET OFF"
"I'm not moving till you tell us who you are" Millie said sternly holding onto the girls arm.
"FINE BUT YOU BETTER LET ME GET DRESSED FIRST"
"Alright...."Millie said letting go of her arm and leading her back into the bedroom.
She waited outside the door for about 5 minutes and the girl came out. Looking ever so refreshed. She grinned. "Thank you Preacher Boy for your hospitality!"
Vash popped his head up from the couch he was sleeping on. "Preacher Boy?" He asked looking toward Wolfwood's way.
"Don't ask. She's been calling me that since I met her in the alley this morning."
"YOU MET HER IN ALLEY?"
"Yeah. I have a tendencies to draw strays."
"Too many." Vash snickered getting that glimmer in his eye.
"I wouldn't say that" Wolfwood said walking over and catching his lover's chin in his hand.
"Hmm maybe" the other answered as Wolfwood drew them in for a kiss.
The girl in the background took a chair at the table. " ehhh so they're gay?"
Millie and Meryl both nodded.
"Damn and I thought I was going to get laid tonight."
The two guys stopped at the word laid and stared at the girl both looking quite protective over each other. Wolfwood had his arm over Vash and Vash had one of his toward the Man's back.
"uhhh" She said "Sorry I asked"
"So what is your name?" Meryl chirped. Trying to get off the subject as soon as possible.
"My name is Aya, Aya Kosumi"
"Wow...your that legendary Swordsmen"
"No, Just a stray cat without a home"
"But they said you died years ago"
"Hah no I didn't. Never will"
"But...you look only 17"
"Don't worry about that will ya?" Aya finished, then getting a glass of water from the sink. She looked over to Vash for a second and closed her eyes. "It seems like someone has something coming soon"
Vash broke his entwinement with Wolfwood for a second and walked over to the girl.
"Oh...Like what?"
"haha. Well Mr. Vash I believe your pregnant." She says Listening to the birds. "I can tell because I know what you're all about."

Goddamnit, she is annoying! So, so annoying. Without a doubt, a Mary-sue. *bangs head against desk* I'd point out all the bad elements, but this is a report, not an essay....