Current mood:

nauseated

A paper cut soaked in lemon juice wouldn't hurt as much.
Well now. It’s rather sad, how I can simply click on ff.net Anime=> Trigun=> set it to 5000 words or more on a PG-13 rating and WHAM. Mary sue. In CAPTIAL LETTERS.

OMG LIKE WOW1.

Ouch. My brainmeats hurt. I can’t read anymore of this, I might do something stupid.

Story Or Series Title: SOMEONE TO RETURN MY LOVE
Fandom: Trigun.
Culprit Author's Name: YOKO KITSUNE NETORIE MAXWELL (ouch) It hurts to read the authors name.

Full Name (plus titles if any): Netorie. That’s it I think. God I hope so.
Full Species(es): I’m not too sure, but her lifespan is 120, but she’s 16. (4EVA). Yes, I would like to order an inflatable Mary-sue, suitable for gagging the toughest stomachs of jaded fans. Yes, my age is over 16, but my IQ isn’t.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Light sand colour.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Dark gold. Oooo.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "Her skin, as dark as the Arabians" Direct quote. OMFG.
Special Possessions (if any): "determination, and a mysterious past" Direct quote. Gun. Bounty higher than Vash’s. all $$98 billion. I’d pay that….for someone to kill her!

Annoying Origin: Wolfwood’s sister. Legatos sister. This story offically (it was official the instant I read it) makes NO FRELLING sense. OMFGWTFBQQ.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Author originally intended to make Her and Vash cousins. But she’s Legato’s and Wolfwoods sister. Wow. Gunsmoke is full of pretty inbred hicks. Ugh..-_-;;
Annoying Special Abilities: Can distort canon continuity. As in Legato is alive. As in Knives is….aww hell, I dunno WHATS going on. Can shoot people. Can make Vash obsessed with her, and also make him a complete git to other canon characters. Can sing. Like WOW BEEUTIFUL voice like.
Other Annoying Traits: Suffers from ANGST MAX FACTOR! Ugh. Likes to kills things.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Character info: Netorie Age: 16 (really 120) Everything else is unknown. She is in so many ways like vash. But when they meet, she never tells him the truth. Vash has to rely on Nicholas to give him the answers to netorie's secrets.

PROLOGUE

The wind was cold, beating against his back. The rain mixed with his bloody tears. Now one could help him now. She was dead. That's all he could think about. "I let her down." he kept repeating. " Why couldn't I save her!?" A crazy, insane laugh came from the side. " Looks like you were to pathetic to save her, vash. You should try harder next time. Besides.it's all your fault that she's dead brother." Knives was standing to the left of vash. In Vash's arms you can see a body. Soaked in rain.in blood. The body was being held in the blood stained hands..of a murderer.

The angsty pro-logue. I’m like so hooked. Like no.

Half way across the town, a young girl is hiding out in a back ally. She step's out into the light revealing her features. This girl was about five foot, six inches tall. Her hair was as light as the sand. Her skin, as dark as the Arabians. Her eyes, they shown dark gold...determination, and a mysterious past.
"THERE SHE IS!" "GET HER!" Seven men shouted and ran towards her, with their guns drawn.
"You boys mean me?" She asked innocently. " Why don't you just give up?" The men were surrounding her by now. " Come on babe...come down to the station with us. You know you want to!" One of the men started to step closer to her.
"Who in hell do you think you are?" she hissed, revealing a gun from her shirt. " No one orders me around like that. Do you know my reputation? No one lives if they try to hunt me down." With a flick of the trigger, all but one is dead.
" We'll get you one day missy...you can count on that. I have back up all ready here. Look around you...you have no way out."
All around her she could see figures. Figures of what were yet to come.
" No one can catch me you idiot..." The girl shoots him with no regrets on her shoulders. "...but you can try." She starts running. " Catch me if you can..."
And just like that, she vanishes in the mist.

Oiy. The part where it’s thinly veiled that this is the character the author mentioned.

Vash had started to walk towards them. The girl shoot's another guy in the shoulder, and runs. " you'll never catch me!" she yelled, totally unaware that she was about to run right into vash.
" Oh, no..." Nicholas said, not to excited. He once again was pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. The girl runs smack into vash. He catches her before she falls.
" What the hell?" she looks up at him. " Hu...LET GO OF ME YOU JACKASS!!!" she tries to get away from him. " Sorry...just trying to help you miss!" Vash said, smiling. The men come over to Vash. " where is that witch!" one of the shot men shouted. " Give up the girl punk!" The leader of the group pointed his gun at vash's head.
" Just a minute miss..." vash got closer to the men. " come on guys! We don't want any trouble here." " Hand her over you dumbass!" They all get closer to vash. Their gun's are pointing to all different places on him.
" Well, if you guys wont stop...I guess I'll have to teach you a lesson then." Vash pulls out his gun and hits them over their heads with it. When vash turns around the girl tries to run. " Are you alright?" vash grabs her arm, and pulls her a little closer.
" I can take care of my self you idiot...now let go of me." " Hey...don't go yet! I wanted to ask you something. Why were those men chasing you?" " That doesn't concern you... Mister stampede." She gave a smirk. " How did you know my name? And what is yours?" Vash looked at her surprised. " I just know." She breaks free of vash's hold. Then she starts to walk away into the setting sun. she turns around one last time just as Nicholas joins Vash. " By the way...it's netorie...netorie Maxwell." With that said, netorie disappears. " Well...that was strange. She did say her name was netorie, right?" Nicholas threw his cigarette down. " Yeah...she did." Vash was still looking in the directions netorie had walked.
" Then you don't want to see her again." Nicholas turns around and starts heading toward the bar. There is a slight wind blowing.
Vash starts to think: why did those guys want her...dead or alive? I just don't understand. Vash feels something hit his feet, so he looks down, and picks it up. The paper says: "WANTED" The notorious netorie is wanted dead or alive. Your reward will be $$98 billion.
Vash is shocked. He folds the paper up, puts it in his pocket, and follows Nicholas back to the bar.

So what you think so far? This is my first trigun fic. I write a lot of gundam wing. So this is me trying. Please R&R!!! ^_~

I think NOT. Please, do us a favour and don’t ever open Word again.

Vash looked at her, worried. " No...you're wrong." Netorie looks at him sadly, ad yet confused at the same time. " What do you mean?" " My life is hard, and miserable. People do fear me...but other's try to get me." " I know how you feel. My life is no walk in the park. It's like walking straight through Death Valley." Netorie lowed her eyes. " Tell me...please?" Vash was sounding curious. " Okay. Well, I'm always being," Netorie went on and told vash everything. Like how she couldn't stay somewhere for more than two days. If she did, then she would end up being chased until she gave up. Netorie also told Vash about her relationship with Nicholas. How they were together for fifteen years. Then split apart because of knives. Netorie never did really tell the truth.

It was about twelve o'clock before Netorie finished. Vash had so many questions for her to answer. And that's exactly what she did. She answered them all.
" It's late. I really need to go in." Netorie said, standing up. " Yes it is. Netorie?" Vash stood up and faced her. " Yeah?" Netorie looked up at him. " I really liked talking to you tonight." " Really?" They were looking into each other's eyes. " Yeah." Vash said softly. He brushed his hand against her cheek. Then he started to lean down. They both closed their eyes. And he kissed her. A few minutes later Netorie pulled away from him. She looked away from him and slightly shook her head, taking in a breath. " We can't... We can't be doing this." She said softly. " I...I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." Vash said softly. " We better go inside." " Yeah..." Netorie started to walk towards the door. Vash followed her. Netorie opened her door. Then she turned to Vash. Vash looked into her eyes once again. He started to lean down again. When he did, Netorie put a single finger to his soft, gentle lips. Vash stopped him-self. " Right...well...good-night." Vash spoke softly. Netorie could see disappointment in his eyes. " Night." She said, giving him a weak smile. Vash turned around and walked back to the room, where he would find Nicholas sleeping. Netorie watched him quietly. Then she shut the door. The lights went off not to long after.

I’m going to cry. And it’s not because I’m a romantic sap either. X_X;